


hold me fast and fear me not

by jlennyb



Category: Original Work, Scottish Mythology, Tam Lin (Traditional Ballad)
Genre: Adaptation, Alien Planet, Ballad 39: Tam Lin, F/F, Father-Daughter Relationship, Friendship, Lesbians in Space, Minor Violence, Mushrooms, Plants, Trees, everyone is kind of a nerd, the carterhaugh is a shipwreck, the fairy queen is the planet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:33:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22189453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jlennyb/pseuds/jlennyb
Summary: A "gays in space" adaptation of the Tam Lin ballad. When Jannah arrives at a research station on a verdant planet, she soon finds a great deal of mystery, especially the presence of the supernatural guardian of the forest that appears in the wreck of a starship.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Female Character
Comments: 11
Kudos: 10





	1. PART ONE: the scientific method

**PART ONE**

_ the scientific method _

Waking up from cryosleep is much like waking up from a long nap that began in the afternoon, but extended until the evening. You awake, groggy and unsure of what time it is, the echoes of whatever you had been dreaming about quickly slipping from your memory. However, the effects of cryosleep also include waking up cold, damp, and awfully hungry. 

As the little transport shuddered into its automated landing sequence, Jannah tugged herself free of the safety straps inside her cryochamber, and grabbed a thick blanket from the storage compartment beside it. Wrapping it around her shoulders, she turned to the shuttle’s other passenger.

“Good morning, Dad.” she said with a bit of a smile.

Dr. Faulkner smiled back as he rubbed his eyes free of crust and excess water. “Hey there. All rested up and ready to get to work?” 

Jannah shook her limbs out, feeling heavier than ever. “Ugh. Maybe not right away.”

Her father nodded. “I agree. It’s been a long time since I traveled long distance. Still!” He clapped his hands together. “I’m looking forward to the change of pace!” He pulled a pair of glasses from his pocket and rubbed them on his shirt before putting them on. Dr. Faulkner was every bit the image of a middle-aged professor, from his earnest and intelligent eyes right down to his worn but comfortable dress shoes. He blinked as his proper vision returned after putting on his glasses. 

There was a bit of creaking and a rush of air as the shuttle made its final descent. Both passengers put a hand up against the cold metal hull to brace themselves and not topple over. 

“Are you sure you won’t miss grading dozens of mediocre papers?” asked Jannah with a laugh. 

“Not in the slightest. I always wanted to get back to the field, you know. I haven’t been out in the wild properly since I got my doctorate.” He reached across and placed a hand on his daughter’s shoulder. “And I couldn’t be happier than to have you with me. That makes it all the better.”

The transport landed with a soft rumble, and the door slid open. Stepping outside, they had stopped on a raised landing platform connected to a round metal and glass building. The research station was not large, but looked reasonably modern. A geodesic dome was in the center of the complex, likely the central greenhouse lab. But, Jannah only regarded the building for a moment before becoming utterly transfixed by the rest of the environment. 

The planet was so green. Jannah had been to forests before. Their home planet of Rhea had quite a few, not to mention the other little planets and moons she and her father had traveled to before. But everywhere she had been, the forest was thinned a little by the presence of people. Here, the forest was dense, lush, and entirely unbroken. A seamless expanse of trees extended to the horizon, with some hills and mountains far in the distance. The air was not humid like the rainforests on Clio. Instead, there was a sharp scent in the air of unfamiliar plantlife, and underneath, the cool, dark smell of rich soil. 

“Wow.” Jannah breathed. “It’s so… new.”

Dr. Faulkner nodded beside her, also in awe. 

While they gawked at the planet, a door on the side of the station slid open, and two people approached. 

The first, a small woman in her thirties wearing a crisp white coat, held out her hand to greet the newcomers. “Hello, I’m Dr. Lisa Waterman.” she said. “You must be Dr. Faulkner. Welcome to FC39.”

Dr. Faulkner shook her hand warmly. “Thank you. I’m Benedict, and this is my daughter and invaluable assistant, Jannah.”

“Great to meet you, Dr. Waterman.” said Jannah, shaking her hand as well.

“This is the station’s lab assistant, Shay Belmonte.” said the researcher, gesturing to her much taller companion, who looked to be close to Jannah’s age. “They’ve been helping here for post-graduate field experience.”

Shay shook both of the Faulkners’ hands a little more nervously. “Glad you’re here. Been quite a while since I’ve seen any new faces.” They were dressed a little more casually than Dr. Waterman, and sported a large green smudge on the front of their shirt. 

Jannah laughed. “We’ve been in cryo for a month, so I suppose we could say the same!”

Shay shared a glance with Dr. Waterman. “The dinner! I need to go start!” They rushed back into the research station. 

“Post-cryo meal.” Dr. Waterman said, noticing their confused faces. “Shay insisted on doing things properly.”

Dr. Faulkner grinned. “Oh, wonderful! It’s been ages since I had a good post-cryo feast.”

“Same here -- and I’m certainly hungry for it.” added Jannah.

“Will you help us get our supplies off the transport?” asked Dr. Faulkner, gesturing back. “We’ve got our own belongings, plus extra equipment for the lab and food supplies.”

Dr. Waterman nodded and started back towards the shuttle. “Certainly! It’s been awhile since the Administration bothered to send us anything, and will probably be awhile before they do again.”

The next hour or so consisted of moving supplies off of the shuttle and into the station, bringing equipment into the labs, and organizing belongings in their new quarters. At the end of it all, Dr. Faulkner punched in the code to send the transport back on its autopilot path to a nearby Administration outpost, and they all sat down for dinner.

A traditional post-cryo feast was intended to be nutrient heavy -- good protein, vegetables with lots of vitamins, and plenty of water to rehydrate a recently frozen body. As it was a travelers’ meal, it often featured not only local food, but something to remind travelers of home, or wherever they had been before. 

“I’m from Rhea, too,” explained Shay, setting out a few dishes in front of them. “I tried to make that sort of root casserole from the midlands… My great aunt used to serve it a lot, back when I lived there. Not sure if it’s entirely accurate.”

The casserole was in a long, thick dish, layered with a variety of root vegetables, mostly the Earth-native potato, but also a variety of things that were grown only after humanity’s expansion to a second planet. It looked very creamy and filling. 

“It smells amazing.” said Jannah. “Can you tell me about these, though?” she asked, pointing to a bowl of steaming leaves, a bit like large spinach.

“Those are from here, actually,” said Shay. “Though it’s what we’re growing in the station greenhouse. Really healthy stuff, so we try to keep a lot on hand. Sort of bland, but I spiced them up a bit.”

Dr. Faulkner eagerly loaded a pile of the plant onto his plate. “Anything to experience the local culture!” he said, laughing.

There wasn’t any fresh meat, but that was pretty uncommon these days anyway, unless you lived in an area with a lot of traditional agriculture. Most protein came from some sort of meat-like substitute, but Jannah found that when well-seasoned, you could make a lot of quite palatable, if not delicious, meals with such substances. 

“We’re really glad you’re here at last.” said Dr. Waterman, once everyone had gotten food onto their plates and was digging in happily. “The last few months have been really difficult. We had to drop a lot of our ongoing projects for the sake of maintaining priority research instead, so there’s a lot to restart and catch up on.”

“I can only imagine. Losing your senior researcher must have been devastating.” said Faulkner.

“If it isn’t too much to ask…” ventured Jannah. “What happened to Dr. Simons?”

Waterman looked down. “We’re… not exactly sure. Three months ago, he went on a well-planned exploratory mission farther into the forest, in a direction we hadn’t set out in yet, as the foliage seemed a little denser and harder to navigate. During the first few hours we received all his transmissions just fine, but then he just… dropped off the map. We looked for him as far as we dared, but… we didn’t want to be out there alone or leave the station unmanned for too long, so we gave up. Called the Administration and they told us they’d send a replacement senior researcher.”

“They didn’t send any people to look for Dr. Simons?” asked Jannah, a little horrified.

Shay shook their head. “Nope. Administration is certain he’s dead.”

“What about you?”

“Not sure.” Shay shrugged. “It’s a big, mysterious, planet, but Dr. Simons is a smart guy. He could very well be out there somewhere.”

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence.

“Well, tell us about what we’ve missed in the last month!” cried Dr. Faulkner suddenly. “How did the galaxy fare while we were asleep?”

Dr. Waterman looked embarrassed. “I’m afraid I don’t keep up much beyond what goes on here at the station, especially with all the extra work. But, we did set up a hydroponics lab, and all of the plants we are growing there are doing just as well, if not better, than the ones in the soil in the greenhouse.”

“Sounds fascinating!” said Dr. Faulkner. “How many varieties are you growing here in the station?”

“At this point, probably a couple dozen or so… there’s a lot out there, but we lost a lot of time. Most of what we have seems to have good food purpose, or are more chemically interesting.” Dr. Waterman tapped her fork. “There’s still so much out there, though. We’ve only ever gone a couple of miles from the station in these two years.”

“I’m sure we can help out with that.”

“With two extra pairs of hands?” Dr. Waterman had a glint in her eye. “There is so much we will be able to do.”

“What about on Rhea?” asked Jannah. “Is everything well there? What ended up happening with the vote for the new planetary representatives?”

“They recounted.” Shay said. “Took a couple of weeks, but now we’ve got Vang and Pallessen. Not really sure if that’s good or bad, though. I’ve never been good with politics.” They thought for a moment. “I mean, I sort of keep up with stuff from back home, but only the things I find interesting… Oh! They’re remaking  _ Kim’s Moon _ \-- I don’t know if you ever watched it, kind of an older show, but a pretty solid fanbase…”

“Seriously? That was like, one of my favorite shows as a kid!” said Jannah, excited. “Kim was like, my first crush.”

“No way, me too!” Shay laughed. “We’ve got to rewatch it together. Waterman won’t even watch  _ Green Future  _ with me.”

“That is a great film.” commented Dr. Faulkner.

“I just don’t care for movies.” mumbled Waterman, taking a bite of her food. 

“Ah, no harm in that.” said Shay. “But it would be nice to do something besides lab work with you, you know. It’s just us out here.”

“Actually, this is quite nice.” said Dr. Faulkner. “We’ll be busy, so not every day, but why don’t we all eat one big meal together once a week? Jannah and I used to do that at home, while I was still teaching.”

Dr. Waterman smiled again. “That sounds lovely. I must admit, Shay knows how to cook with limited resources. Though, they sometimes miss.”

“I thought we said we were not going to bring up the salsa incident.” said Shay through gritted teeth.

Jannah giggled. “I don’t think I should ask.”

“You shouldn’t!” said Shay and Waterman in unison, then looked at each other and laughed.

Dr. Faulkner patted his daughter’s shoulder. “I think we are going to do just fine here.”

Jannah grinned. “Welcome to FC39, Dad.”

It only took a week or so before Jannah felt very settled in to life at the research station. In the morning, she would go with Shay to the greenhouse, checking on the growth of their experiments, as well as harvesting anything ready to eat from the garden. After that, they would go next door to the fairly new hydroponics lab, comparing the growth of the plants there to what was growing more conventionally in the greenhouse. Some of the plants in both labs were those Jannah was more familiar with, either being originally from Earth, or a hybrid variety developed during humanity’s expansion. Still, the majority of what was growing were species native to FC39, some of which certainly reminded her of things she knew, but had unique shapes and properties that had never been encountered. 

The rest of the working day was left up to the whims of Faulkner and Waterman. Jannah loved working with her father. Ever since she was young, they had been partners in investigation. When tiny Jannah had ventured in the backyard to investigate the creatures that lived there, her father had been right behind her, ready to share his wealth of knowledge and encourage his daughter’s curious mind. It had been several years since she had worked with him so regularly, and so often, but the two had settled into a perfect working dynamic. 

They had just finished labeling a series of soil samples, and were settling down to take some more notes over a quick lunch. Jannah placed the second slice on top of the sandwich she was making and handed it to her father.

“Belmonte!” echoed Dr. Waterman’s voice from the hall. “Did you finish with that data input?”

“Not yet.” called Shay, a little quieter. “It’s taking a little longer because of that fourth set of variables.”

“Hrph.” Dr. Waterman came into the lab where the Faulkners were working. “Well, be quick about it. I wanted to be finished with those reports weeks ago.”

Dr. Faulkner swallowed a bite of sandwich. “Lisa, you could be a little less harsh with them. You’ve really set up quite a workload the past few weeks.”

Waterman shook her head. “I don’t really mean to be harsh, that’s just how we work. Shay’s really an excellent worker, I can always count on them.” She peered over at Dr. Faulkner’s notes. “I’m just really excited to finally be catching up with things. It feels almost… normal.”

Jannah grinned. “Yeah! I think I’m finally starting to get into the routine.” 

“Good.” nodded Waterman. “That means I can start being meaner to you, too.”

“Now, now.” warned Faulkner. “I am the senior researcher. Maybe I need you to start being nicer.”

Waterman laughed. “You’re pleasant enough for the both of us. I’ll loosen up when we’ve caught up on the past three months.” She eyed the sandwiches and frowned. “Right. I should probably eat something.”

Shay came into the room as well. “Glad you noticed. You’re running yourself ragged, Dr. Waterman.”

She sighed. “It’s just… What else am I supposed to do, Shay? All there is here is the station. I don’t have any personal projects I care about, this… this is my project. And after Dr. Simons…”

The room fell silent. 

“I’m sure Simons wouldn’t have wanted you to make yourself miserable making up for lost work.” said Dr. Faulkner. “We have plenty of time to get anything we need to done. The Administration understands the situation, and we’re being very consistent in sending reports.”

“This could be huge.” said Waterman. “This could be a home for people. I don’t want to stall that future.” 

“You aren’t” said Shay. “We’re learning so much, and this station survived being understaffed, thanks to you.”

“And you.” Waterman smiled and patted Shay on the shoulder. “Okay, let’s grab some food and get back to those data grids -- I promise we’ll be done before dinnertime.”

Dr. Faulker got up from his stool, polishing off the last bite of his sandwich. “And we have atmospheric makeup information to analyze. Ready, Jannah?”

“All set.” she said, brushing crumbs from her shirt. 

Jannah liked the dynamic of the station. They kept each other motivated, they kept each other calm. Unlike many of the group projects she had suffered through in undergrad, the team was well-balanced and everyone pulled their weight. The Administration couldn’t have asked for a better research team.

Some nights they worked, charting stars and other celestial bodies, but for the most part, the evenings were free after a long day of good work. Oftentimes they kept to themselves, reading news and books in their rooms, catching up with distant friends and family. Jannah would chat with her father quite a bit some evenings, or watch episode on episode of decades-old shows with Shay. 

A particularly grueling few days had resulted in a series of spoiled samples and frustratingly little information. The senior researchers were up late attempting to unscramble the confused data in the reports and manage a somewhat intelligible explanation to send to the Administration. Jannah lay, exhausted, in Shay’s room, staring at the brightly colored lights strung around the ceiling. It reminded her of some of her friends’ rooms in college.

“What are you working on?” she asked, not seeing, but hearing, Shay clicking away at the keyboard on their computer console. 

Shay chuckled a bit, embarrassed. “My Kim’s Moon fanfiction. I’ve been a part of this net group about the show since I was a teenager, and some of my best friends are there… just never really gave it up, you know?”

Jannah smiled. “That’s great. I’ve never really been great at creative stuff, I guess. My paper writing is fine, but I can’t think of a time I really wanted to write a story for fun.”

“You should try it.” said Shay. “I mean. I mostly just borrow other people’s characters, because that’s what brings me joy, but… there’s a lot you can do. Write about your life, your feelings… either through you or other people that you make up. Or poetry. I tried that for a while, but, let’s just say I didn’t create anything worth looking at again.”

“I think I’d write about this planet.” said Jannah, wistfully. “It’s beautiful. I love it here. I only wish we went a little farther from the station… there’s so much out there. If you’ve ever explored a forest anywhere, you know that you’re missing so much if you only hike a half hour in.”

Shay shrugged. “I’m a city kid. Never really hiked. My family isn’t really into that kind of thing, anyway. We’d travel sure… but mostly to see music, or shows, or family friends. Check out cool places to eat.”

“Explains your love of experimental food.” said Jannah, sitting up on the bed to face Shay. “How’d you get into all this, then? If you never really grew up around it?”

“I may have never really visited nature in its most organic form, but you’d be amazed how people use plants to keep a big city running.” said Shay. “In high school, I got involved with this huge urban gardening thing, and that spread into an interest in energy… That’s actually my specialty, you know. Energy solutions. I’m hoping to find something unexpected out here.”

“No wonder our solar panels run so efficiently.” said Jannah. “If we ever get the chance to take a vacation, you’ll have to visit one of the old growths on Earth with me and my dad. I’m thankful for everyone who really fought to preserve them a century ago… we would have so little left of nature on our home planet.”

“If I wanted to see old growth, I don’t think I need to look much further.” said Shay, gesturing towards the wall and outside. “Before you got here, we did some dating on some of the bigger trees we found… centuries, man. It’s like nothing has touched this place. Almost… eerie.”

“Yeah…” Jannah looked at the floor. “Hey, this may be totally out of line, but,” She hesitated. “Do you think you can tell me a little more about what happened to Dr. Simons?”

Shay looked grim. “You deserve to know.” they said at last. “I’m sure you’ve noticed we don’t venture very far away from the station.”

“Right.”

“Well, it wasn’t always like that.” Shay slid their chair away from their desk and closer to where Jannah was perched on the bed. “We used to go much farther out into the woods. Dr. Simons packed for two to four day expeditions regularly -- always by himself. Dr. Waterman and I are much more suited to the station, but Arthur Simons was an outdoorsman through and through.”

“I’m amazed Waterman let him go.” said Jannah, surprised. 

“Simons was more senior. She wasn’t gonna stop him. Besides… we didn’t think anything would happen.” Shay sighed. “It was so routine. He had planned the expedition for days. Sure, it was to a new area, but that was what he did. He explored.”

“He sounds really incredible.”

Shay shrugged. “He was a bit eccentric, I think. Even by station standards.” they added, noticing Jannah’s expression. “But things were going fine, and then… that last transmission. It unsettled me for weeks after.”

“Can I hear it?” Jannah asked quietly.

Shay stared. “Look… we looked into this a lot. I’m not sure it’s worth digging up. It’s only gonna freak you out. And also me. And if Waterman finds out that I was dredging it all up again…”

“Oh, what’s she gonna do? Lightly scold you?” said Jannah. “She’s not your mom, it’s not like she can ground you or something. You don’t ever leave the station anyway.”

“Fair point.” Shay sighed. “Okay.” they said, sliding back to the computer and tapping for a moment, then connecting a headset and handing it to Jannah. “Listen with these, I don’t really want to hear it again.”

Jannah placed the headset over her ears. There was a long moment of static before the transmission recording began to play.

“This is Dr. Arthur Simons, field transmission number seven, on FC39 exploration mission number fifteen. I --” He trailed off into a soft groan. Jannah had never heard Dr. Simons’ voice before, but he sounded very tired, as if he had just been through a great deal of physical exertion, or if he was ill. “I’m not sure how long it will take me to return to the station. Unfortunately, I’m not well.” Another long pause, and then he continued. “In case the worst should happen… I would warn you: Stay away from the Carterhaugh. There’s something strange going on there, and I don’t think it’s within our expertise to figure it out. It should be reported that --” 

The recording returned to static.

“It just cuts off like that?” Jannah asked, taking off the headset for a moment. 

Shay looked grim. “Yep. That was the last we ever heard from Dr. Simons.” 

Jannah replaced the headset, listening to the message a few more times. “The Carterhaugh? What is that? Sounds like a proper noun… is that what you named that part of the forest?”

“No, we never figured it out. Doesn’t really seem to connect to anything important in the computer records. All I know is, there’s something out there, and Dr. Simons told us not to mess with it.” Shay crossed their arms. “And I trust his judgement, especially…” They looked down. “Especially if what’s out there got him killed.”

Jannah frowned. “I’m sorry. This is really sensitive for you guys, isn’t it?”

“It’s not surprising that you want to know.” said Shay, sitting down. “But you’re right. It’s hard. When we first came here, I wanted to know all about what was out there in the forests of the planet. I was pretty curious, just like you. But after Dr. Simons disappeared? I guess I just feel so much safer in the confines of the station. Familiarity. An environment where I’m in control.”

“Are you afraid of the outside?” asked Jannah.

Shay thought a moment. “Yeah, I am. I’m afraid of the wild. And I’m afraid of learning the truth of what might have happened to Dr. Simons at the Carterhaugh, wherever that is.”

“I’m not afraid.” said Jannah. “I think one day, we’ll know the truth.”

Shay stared, starting to catch her implication. 

“Please be careful.” was all they said.

Jannah adjusted her bag and took another glance back at the station. It was evening, but Drs Waterman and Faulkner were busy with something, and Shay was lost in calling a distant friend, so it seemed like the perfect time to slip away. She was prepared -- plenty of water, clothes to cover her arms and legs to prevent bug bites, her tablet for tracking her findings, as well as a physical notebook -- old habits die hard. Clipped to her pocket was a sizable folding knife, which she hoped she would only need to use to cut samples, and not defend herself against whatever ferocious mysteries lay out in the forest. 

She couldn’t just sit by while Dr. Simons’ disappearance hanging over her head. Sure, she had never known him, but the fact that Dr. Waterman or Shay had never gone looking for any further information about what had happened baffled her. Even her own father seemed a little spooked by the whole thing, and the idea of going out farther into the woods exploring, as if they didn’t already know enough. They had studied the immediate area around the station so well, that if they wanted to find anything new about FC39, someone was going to have to stop being afraid of the planet.

The map that tracked Dr. Simons former path led north from the station a considerable way, before veering to the southwest. Jannah elected to just go immediately west, cutting a path towards his last known location. The forest was not so different from that immediately around the station: huge, ancient ferns that covered the ground, old trees coated with moss at their base, brightly colored fungi poking up from the ground and decaying logs, and the soft chatter of small birds and critters that lived there. While the station researchers had tried their best to log the creatures they observed, they did not want to try and keep any of them captive, as that was no one’s expertise. However, they all seemed harmless enough -- the creatures ate plants, and bugs, and sometimes each other, but were uninterested in their new alien neighbors. Jannah was particularly fond of a tiny blue-green bird that seemed to match both the leaves and the sky. You needed to pay attention in order to spot it, using its small, but keenly sharp beat to pick at bugs within the trees. She thought as she walked that it might be interesting to get recordings of the bird’s calls, especially in the earlier parts of the day when they were most active. Surely that would interest someone in the Administration. 

The air was beginning to feel a bit cooler when Jannah finally caught a glimpse of something out of place. Through the trees ahead of her, she could make out large swathes of a huge, dirty gray shape sunk into the forest beyond. She picked up her pace, and was astonished by what she found.

It was a wreck, Jannah realized right away, some sort of massive battleship driven into the planet’s surface like a big broken shell buried halfway into the beach. A large side engine which would have been originally attached to a part of the ship much higher in the air had since fallen to the ground, leaving twisted metal exposed at the break above, where creeping leaves now had taken hold. The crash was old, she guessed, as any available crevice was already full of life, be it only hardy lichens and mosses, or developing to small plants. Thick clear panels of spaceproof glass had been shattered by impact or time, and she saw that plants crept in and out of those openings. Exposed to the elements, she could only imagine what the inside of the wreck looked like. 

But, not wanting to only imagine, Jannah began to circle the wreck in search of a way that looked safe enough to enter. She didn’t want to try and climb up the surface of any of the ship in order to reach a hole, dropping into who knows what. She was curious, but not stupid. Working her way around, she noticed a series of numbers near her head that extended up the side of the diagonally planted craft. Looking beyond, she saw the name she was looking for. In thick but fading black letters: T.A.S. CARTERHAUGH.

It was then that she finally felt a little twinge of fear, recalling Dr. Simons’ strained warning. Jannah paused for a moment, listening. There was certainly something different about this part of the woods, the wreck was like nothing she had ever seen before. But the wind still rustled through the trees the same way it had all her time here, and the animals still chittered amongst themselves as they always had… so really, there wasn’t any immediate sense of dread or warning that anything was somehow worse. Taking a breath, she continued her search for an entrance. She found a large empty space where an observation window should have been, but now the glass was practically pulverised in little chunks in the dirt. Clumps of weeds grew up around the bottom, a long abandoned doorway. Cautiously, she stepped into the wreck. 

Since the ship was not upright, the floor slanted about, and in order to navigate the wreck, Jannah had to sometimes walk on the floor, or the wall, or even a strangely angled ceiling. She worked past crumbling chairs, crushed containers, and all sorts of equipment, recognizable and not. Exposed wiring and tubes dangled above, accompanied by the plants that crept in with the sunlight from the planet outside. It was decidedly dead, the ship. There was no old energy that crackled in the lights, or any soft glow of life from the defunct control panels. But there was life, in what was starting to grow in those pockets of light, or those rich darknesses. Wandering through the giant ship was interesting, and maybe a little unsettling. Maybe it was a good thing, but… Jannah didn’t find any signs of the crew. While she didn’t know how old the wreck was, she would have expected to come across some sort of remains, but there was nothing. Their belongings, sure: weapons, uniforms, tools, etcetera. It was clearly a manned vessel.

She wondered if they had survived. 

When she was in sixth grade, Jannah had a huge obsession with survival stories. She read all sorts of books about clever young people making a home for themselves in a harsh environment. It had fascinated her, and inspired a series of short-lived but extremely intense camping trips. But looking at the wreck of the Carterhaugh, she had to wonder how anyone could ever recover from something of this magnitude. 

After over half an hour of slowly exploring, Jannah came across a section of the ship that had truly begun to be entirely claimed by nature. Interestingly enough, it appeared to be a major engineering section, with a high ceiling broken apart letting the orange-red sunset light stream in, past wires laces with vines, and a small tree using a great scaffold as support. A thick layer of dead leaves and dirt had formed on the floor as there was so much open space, but it still felt a little enclosed, just a large circular room of dark control panels, once bustling with activity. Peering beneath the shelf of workstations, Jannah inspected the smaller things that were enjoying the dark and damp spaces of the wreck. The fallen leaves had blown into thick piles at the edges of the room, and many little mushrooms peeked up out of the litter. 

Jannah grinned. These ones were different than what she had seen near the station. The planet, thick as it was with life, was covered with the fungus that loved decomposing plant life. These mushrooms were thin, and milky color that may have been blue, but so pale it was hard to tell. Removing her knife, she dug into the dirt beneath one a bit, carefully removing it as intact as possible from where it rested. She pulled a small container from her bag and placed the mushroom inside. She may have gone off where she shouldn’t have, but she wasn’t going back to the station without something interesting to look into. Going to another patch of the fungi, she readied her blade to take another sample -- doubles were always good.

“Stop.” said a voice from behind her, and Jannah jumped so much she almost cut her finger off. She whirled, gripping the knife.

Behind her stood a woman. She was human, Jannah thought, except for the fact that she looked a little not human enough, and she wasn’t quite… present. The figure seemed mostly corporeal, but Jannah could detect that somehow, a hint of that red sunset light passed through her. The woman’s skin was too pale, with a similar milky translucence to the mushrooms Jannah had been inspecting. She wore the ragged remains of cargo pants the color of the dead leaves on the ground, in fact… it was hard to tell if the pants were made of fabric, or simply the brittle leaves themselves. Her shirt, maybe once white, was stained with dirt. Her hair was long and dark, seeming impossibly well-kept for the look of the rest of her. Her eyes deep, and too dark, and that was what unsettled Jannah the most, the unmistakably supernatural quality about the figure before her.

“Wh-who are you?” Jannah asked quietly. 

The woman did not answer. She stared, with her unnerving gaze at Jannah’s knife, and the bag where her sample container sat. “Why are you doing this?” she asked in an inflection that could be read as either angry, or deeply sad. 

Jannah kept her grip on her knife. “I’m just exploring. And researching. That’s what I do.” She swallowed. “What… what do you do?”

The woman thought for a moment. “I am the guardian of this place.” she said at last.

Jannah wondered why she couldn’t immediately answer. “Are you a ghost?” she offered, an idea that had been one of the first she had thought of.

Jannah had never seen a ghost, and she didn’t really believe in them, but she also didn’t frequent the massive wrecks of starships. If any place she had ever visited was going to be haunted, it was going to be the wreck of the Carterhaugh. 

“No.” the woman said, and it was almost a sneer. She moved closer to Jannah, walking. “You cannot enter this place without my permission.” She reached out, and grabbed for Jannah’s wrist, the hand that held the knife. Petrified, Jannah didn’t move. She took in a sharp breath as a strong, definitely-corporeal hand gripped her wrist. She met eyes with the woman, matching her steely gaze.

“It’s my job to study the planet.” Jannah said plainly. “So this wreck is a part of that. I certainly don’t see why I would need anyone’s permission. Unless… do you live here?”

The woman softened into something more sad and confused. She looked around the room of the wreck, now crumbling and overgrown. “I think I did once.” she said quietly. “ I do not remember.”

“Then you’re here all alone?”

“I suppose that is true.”

Jannah glanced over at the woman’s hand gripping her wrist. “If you let go of me, I’ll put this knife down.”

“How do I know you will not try to hurt me?” 

Jannah laughed a bit, nervously. “Uh… you’re way bigger than me. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t stand a chance fighting you, even with this little knife.” 

Complying, the woman released her iron grip, and Jannah gently tossed her knife to the ground, out of reach of either of them. “There!” she said with a little smile. “Now we can chat more friendly-like.”

“You must leave.” said the woman. 

“And what if I don’t?”

The woman stared. “I do not wish to hurt you.”

“Then we’re getting along already.” Jannah shrugged. “If you won’t talk to me, at least let me explore. I won’t disturb anything else, if that’s what you want.”

“What I want is of no concern.” 

“I thought you were the guardian?” 

The woman glanced down. “Perhaps I am, but I am not the mistress of this forest. My authority is only secondary.”

Hesitantly, Jannah reached out her hand. “Are you human?” she asked quietly, touching the woman’s shoulder. She was solid, and not entirely cold. 

The woman turned slowly to look at Jannah’s hand on her shoulder. She didn’t answer for a long moment. “No.” she said at last. 

Jannah looked at the woman’s strange clothing again. It was truly almost-human, but with an unmistakable foreigm quality, and the material of her shirt felt like nothing she could recognize. Jannah’s eyes passed over the shirt, when a slightly gleaming object caught her eye. 

A badge, but dirty enough she couldn’t read it. She reached over and smudged away the grime with her thumb. The woman looked down, surprised. The badge read “T.A.M. LIN”.

“Lin?” asked Jannah. “Is that your name?” She didn’t know what the other letters stood for.

The woman reached up and touched the badge herself, staring at the letters. “Maybe once.” she said. 

“It’s a nice name.” said Jannah. “I can call you that, if you want.”

“Names are for friends.” The woman said, cold.

Unfazed, Jannah grinned. “I’m Jannah.” she said. “Listen… I want to know more about this place, and you know a lot. If I promise to follow whatever rules you say about being here, will you let me keep studying the wreck?”

“I do not know much anymore.” 

“I’ll help you remember!”

The woman glanced around, then brought her eyes back to Jannah. “You really think you can help me?”

“Sure.” said Jannah. “I’m always up for a challenge.”

“You may call me Lin.” she said, after pondering for a moment. “If it was not my name before, it will be now, regardless.”

“Alright, Lin.” said Jannah. “It’s always exciting to meet a new research partner.”


	2. PART TWO: further experiments

**PART TWO**

_ further experiments _

“I can’t believe you actually went out there alone!” said Shay, shaking their head. “I mean. I’m sort of not surprised, but what if something happened?”

Jannah shrugged. “Nothing happened. I’m perfectly fine. Other than the fact I’m really hungry to solve the rest of this mystery, though.”  
“What do you mean by that?”

Jannah gestured at the screen. “So I’ve been searching the net databases for information on the crash… and I’m coming up with surprisingly little.”

Shay pulled up a chair to sit beside Jannah and peer at the computer. “Well, if the ship went down or was missing, surely there would be something about it? I mean, that’s a lot of people to drop out of existence.”

“Exactly.” said Jannah, clicking around. “The first problem is the age of the crash -- the ship is the T.A.S. Carterhaugh, which is a designation for a fleet that doesn’t exist anymore.”

“The Terran Alliance?” asked Shay. “Which was absorbed…”

“By the Perseus Administration. The Terran Alliance fleet hasn’t existed for years.” Jannah frowned. “That means the crash has to be at least twenty-five years old, if not older.”

“But the Administration net should have military records from the T.A., right?” asked Shay, pointing at a few things on the screen.

Jannah shook her head. “That’s just it. They do, for a lot of things, but there’s nothing about the wreck of the Carterhaugh or a mission to FC39.” 

“Nothing at all?”

“Like it never happened.” replied Jannah. “And it clearly happened, because there is one hell of a wreck out there in the forest.”

“Makes sense. They said no one had been here before us.” Shay pondered. “I wonder if they came here on purpose, or on accident.”

“We can only wonder.” said Jannah, but she was determined to find out for sure.

While Jannah had told Shay about her visit to the Carterhaugh, and her subsequent investigations, she didn’t breathe a word about the mysterious Lin. But every time she returned to the wreck, Lin would appear, and Jannah could never tell if she had been there the whole time or had come from nowhere.

“Back again?” asked the guardian.

Jannah smirked. “Of course. I had to check on the plants, since you won’t let me take anything back to the lab.” 

“Is that the only reason? What makes these so much more interesting than the rest of the forest?”

“They’re different.” said Jannah, kneeling down with a small magnifier to inspect her favorite patch of fungus. “Plus, the wreck is a mystery. I can’t find anything in the net archives about it.”

Lin sighed and leaned against one of the defunct consoles. “I wish I could remember more, so I could tell you.”

Jannah turned to her. “Well… maybe I can help you remember?” she suggested.

Lin looked back curiously. “How do you suppose you would manage that?” she asked. 

Jannah tucked her magnifier into her pocket and sat on the floor, holding out her hands expectantly. Tentatively, Lin sat down across from Jannah and took her offered hands. Jannah was surprised. She didn’t expect Lin to feel quite as warm as she did. She expected her hands to be colder, like the cool leaves after rain, but Lin’s hands were soft and very human.

“You’re warm.” Jannah said without thinking.

Lin frowned. “Not more than you are. Should I not be?”

Jannah sighed. “Lin, I’m not sure what you should be. For all I know about this wreck, you don’t exist.”

“But I am here.”

“Yes.” Jannah cleared her throat. “Okay, just relax and focus as much as you can. Do you remember anything before being on this planet?”

Lin closed her eyes for a very long time. Jannah started to feel a little uncomfortable before she spoke up again.

“I remember the ship. And the crew.” she said quietly.

“And your life before that? Where did you come from?” Jannah pressed.

Lin shook her head in frustration. “No. My memory does not go that far back. It’s been… too long.”

“How long?”

“I cannot say.”

“Do you remember the Terran Alliance?” Jannah asked.

“Yes.” Lin nodded slowly. “I was… in their military.”

“Oh!” exclaimed Jannah, suddenly realizing something. “Your jacket. T.A.M: that’s ‘Terran Alliance Marine’, I think.”

Lin’s eyes widened. “You are exactly right!” She looked down and took one of her hands away from Jannah to touch the letters on her chest. “I remember my unit now. Not their faces, or their names… but they were kind. I had friends, I think. We cared for each other.”

“What… what happened to them?” Jannah nervously glanced around the rusty and crumbling ship.

Lin looked up and started past Jannah’s shoulder for another uncomfortably long moment. “They are gone.” she said at last. “They have not been around for a very long time. I am the only one left.”

“Lin, I’m so sorry.” Jannah said, squeezing her hands a bit. “That must be devastating.”

Lin looked down at her hands when Jannah squeezed them, a little surprised and confused, but not unpleasantly so. “I do not mourn them still.” she said. “As I have forgotten them, I’m not sure what I can mourn.”

Jannah was quiet for a moment. She knew what she wanted to ask, but wasn’t sure if she would be able to get any kind of answer. “Lin…” she started. “This crash, it had to have been over twenty-five years ago, before the Terran Alliance was absorbed into a larger government. Considering you don’t look much older than me, and you must have been an adult in the army, I just want to know… How are you still here, and why are you the only one left?”

Lin looked up, and there were tears in her eyes. Her eyes, specifically, looked more human than they had before -- no longer deep and distant, but those of someone close and terribly sad. 

Jannah took in a sharp breath, not prepared for such an overwhelmed reaction. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have --”

“No.” Lin gripped Jannah’s hands tighter. “Jannah… why am I still here?” she asked. “You have to help me. Please, something is wrong, you have to help.” She suddenly stood up, yanking her hands from Jannah’s grip and stumbled backwards a few steps. Then she righted herself, closed her eyes and took in a small slow breath.

Jannah slowly began to rise from the floor, and crouched, watched Lin in confusion and a sliver of fear. “Lin…?” she asked hesitantly.

At last Lin’s eyes opened, and they seemed darker and distant again. “I have to go.” she said, cold. She turned and started towards a different part of the ship.

Jannah sprang up from her crouch and dashed over to Lin, tugging on her shoulder to turn her around. “Wait, I’m sorry, did I say something -”

Surprised, Lin pushed Jannah away from her a bit more aggressively than Jannah was ready for. “I have to go.” she repeated.

Jannah watched as Lin climbed past some blockage in the wreck before disappearing out of view entirely. It was the sudden change in Lin’s demeanor that alarmed her the most, she considered, returning to take her notes on the growth in this part of the ship. Did Lin want her help, or not? Was she in danger, or dangerous?

It was quite late when Jannah returned from her latest visit to the wreck of the Carterhaugh. Quietly, she moved through the station towards her room, being careful to avoid the creakier metal panels of the floor. She gasped in surprise as her father came around the corner.

“Dad!” she said, nervous. “Aren’t you usually asleep by now?”

Dr. Faulkner frowned. “I think we need to talk.” He gestured towards a nearby door, and Jannah reluctantly followed him into the room to sit down across from him at one of the lab’s tables.

“Jannah…” her father began. “I know that you are a perfectly capable adult, and I trust you to take care of yourself, but this situation is different.”

Jannah swallowed. So he had known she had been exploring.

“We don’t know what’s out there.” he continued. “This station has already lost one researcher, and I certainly don’t want to lose another, especially my daughter.”

“We’ll never know what’s out there if we don’t look!” said Jannah. “Don’t you want to know what happened to Dr. Simons? How are we supposed to uncover the true mysteries of this planet if we ignore the risk?”

Dr. Faulkner reached out to grab his daughter’s hand. “Jannah, I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you. I can’t allow you to go out into the forest alone.”

Jannah glared. “Or what? You’ll kick me off the project?”

“I am the senior researcher, that is within my power.”

“I thought you wanted me here.”

“Of course I want you here. I couldn’t ask for a better assistant.” Dr. Faulkner sighed. “I don’t want to stifle your curiosity, and I admire your bravery to want to go looking for better answers. All I ask is this - don’t go out alone. Take me, or Shay with you, so that if something should happen…”

“We’ll have a little more information.” Jannah finished. “I understand.”

“Jannah… What did you find out there?”

Jannah hesitated. “There’s… a wreck. A huge ship that crashed, a Terran Alliance ship. I couldn’t find anything about it on the net databases. And there’s things growing there, it’s interesting… I just can’t stay away.”

Dr. Faulkner smiled a little. “That’s my Jannah.”

“Dad, there’s something strange about this planet that we just haven’t been able to understand yet. I know a lot of our initial research has been fairly normal, but there’s more going on here than we realize.”

“I’ll admit, I can’t shake that feeling either.” He sighed. “Dr. Waterman doesn’t want to say it, but I can tell she’s thinking it. She’s afraid, I think, and wants to ignore the fact that there might be something deeply wrong here.”

“Then you understand why I can’t just stop trying to learn more.” 

“Of course.” He squeezed his daughter’s hand. “Just don’t go out alone anymore. Let Shay help you -- I’m sure they’re eager to learn more about this planet, too.”

Jannah squeezed back. “And Dr. Waterman? What will you tell her? She might try to keep us from going out there -- you know how nervous Dr. Simons’ disappearance has made her.”

“I won’t tell her unless I have to.” said Dr. Faulkner. “But I fear you won’t be able to keep it hidden for long.” He shook his head. “Still, if you manage to uncover something really significant, it could ease all our minds.”

“I’m sorry for not telling you.”

“It’s alright. I understand.” He smiled at his daughter. “Jannah, I love you so much. Just be careful.”

“I will, Dad. I will.” 

She did feel bad for not telling him everything. There was a time in her life where she felt like she could, but this… this was different. Knowing that there was something much deeper and more terrifying about the situation on the planet than she had initially thought, she worried that without more concrete answers, the entire research mission could end before she learned the truth. There was something that deeply unsettled her about all that was happening -- Dr. Simons, the lack of information about the wreck, the strange existence and behavior of Lin, whatever she was. She knew that there was something more powerful at play than any of the researchers or the Administration knew or were willing to admit. 

“I can’t believe you convinced me to come out here.” Shay stuffed their hands into the pockets of their large green coat. “It’s cold.”

“Admit it, you’re curious!” said Jannah. 

“Dr. Waterman is going to kill me.” grumbled Shay. “If whatever got Dr. Simons doesn’t kill me first.”

Jannah stared. “Do you really think Dr. Simons is dead?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Shay shrugged. “I’ve always kind of assumed the worst.”

“Hrm.” 

“Jannah…” Shay started. “There’s something more you’ve found than just the wreck and some cool mushrooms, right? I know you haven’t mentioned it to your dad, but --”

“Yeah.” cut in Jannah. “I just can’t really explain -- you have to see for yourself to understand.”

They reached the enormous wreck as the sun was sinking. Shay stared at the ship and let out a breath of amazement. 

“This is the Carterhaugh?” they asked. “I can’t believe the Administration didn’t know this was here.”

Jannah frowned. “We can’t be sure of that.”

“That’s unsettling.” Shay shook their head. “I suppose I’ve always thought we could trust the Administration, and that they sent us out here with as much information as they had available.”

“We may never know.”

The two young researchers entered the wreck and began navigation towards the control core where Jannah had found the most interesting plants. 

“I think it has something to do with the residual energy from the reactor engines.” Jannah explained. handing her magnifier to Shay. “It’s all unlike anything else on the planet, and it’s all because of the unique environment.”

Shay glanced over at the data pad with Jannah’s notes. “That is really fascinating. I wonder if the research station’s energy output could ever affect the growth immediately around it?”

“Possible.” Jannah scooped up her notes. “But… this isn’t the weirdest thing.”

“So you’ve been hinting.” Shay looked around the room. “What else is going on here?”

Jannah slowly turned, looking over her shoulder where she had thought she had glanced a figure in her peripheral vision. “Lin?” she called softly. “It’s alright, Shay’s a friend of mine. We work together… I was afraid of coming out here alone again.”

Lin stepped out of the shadows. She looked less human than the last time Jannah had seen her. Her eyes were distant and her skin seemed pale and unnatural. She stared at Shay, who took a nervous step backwards.

“Jannah…” they started, “Who is that?”

“To be honest, Shay, I’m not entirely sure.” Jannah whispered back. “But I have to find out.”

Lin came towards them both. “Another researcher?” she asked.

Shay nodded. “Yeah. I’m Shay.”

“Lin.” She pointed to her badge. “I was a crewmember, once.”

“What happened?” Shay took a cautious step closer.

“I don’t remember.” said Lin, sadness crossing her face.

Shay glanced back at Jannah. “The crash, it was years ago, wasn’t it? How did she survive?” They thought for a moment. “Maybe, Dr. Simons…” They shook their head. “No. We don’t know enough yet.”

“I’ve been trying to help Lin remember about the crash, but she just doesn’t know much about why she’s here.” explained Jannah. 

“But I am the guardian of this place.” Lin added.

“The wreck, or the planet?” Shay asked.

Lin stared. Her eyes seemed to shift for a moment before she answered. “Whatever is required of me.” she said.

Jannah shared a look with Shay. “Lin… have you ever met anyone else out here? Perhaps another scientist like us?”

“No.” Lin answered too quickly. “Your people cannot be here.”

“Sh-should we leave then?” stammered Shay.

Jannah grabbed Shay’s shoulder. “Absolutely not.” She turned to Lin. “Lin -- please, you have to tell us, do you know anything about Arthur Simons? Is he alive?”

Lin looked and Jannah and sighed slightly. “Jannah, you do not understand… There is nothing I can tell you… I can only --” 

There was a horrific creak of metal from nearby in the ship and the three of them froze. 

“What was that?” Shay asked, a little choked. 

Jannah glanced up nervously. “I have no idea, but it didn’t sound good.”

There was another groan, and a large crunching sound of something falling. The entire room shuddered and they could feel a deep rumble across the floor where they stood. 

“It sounds like part of the ship is breaking down.” said Jannah, her body tense.

“It’s been here so long, why now?” asked Shay, panic rising in their voice. “Jannah, Faulkner and Waterman will kill us if we die out here, we gotta go!”

“No! Let’s wait and see.” said Jannah. “We can’t be sure we’re in any danger yet.”

“You are.” said Lin suddenly. “She’s angry.” 

Another awful bending and smashing of metal followed, closer to them this time. Then, a gigantic tree branch crashed through the ceiling into the middle of the room, narrowly missing Shay and Jannah as they stumbled backwards. It sent dirt and leaves flying everywhere.

“Who is SHE?” Jannah screamed over the noise. She watched as Lin climbed deftly up onto the branch that had just came down, poised in a position of alertness. Lin turned to look at Jannah, and her eyes were burning with an unfamiliar intensity. Jannah could see that there was something powerful resting beneath the surface, and she could only stare. 

At first, Jannah thought she was imagining it, but the wind began to pick up. Indeed, a cold rush of air filled the room, and there was a low, disconcerting tone that struck her ears, as if the volume of the forest had been turned up too loud and she could hear the groan and crack of every tree that bent beneath the wind of the oncoming storm. Through the hole in the ceiling made by the tree that had fallen, Jannah could see that the sky was darkening. 

“We have to go.” said Shay, but they were unable to take their eyes off of the swirling clouds. 

Jannah ignored them. She had to know more about what was going on. She crept quietly closer to Lin, still standing on top of the branch, also gazing up at the stormy sky. 

“Lin!” Jannah called over the rush of wind through leaves. “Come on, come back to the station with us. We can help you figure out what’s happened to you?”

Lin turned to Jannah, catching her gaze. At first, her eyes were cold, but upon focusing on Jannah, they melted to the more familiar, but sad, human gaze that Jannah longed to see more often.

“Take your friend and get away from here.” Lin said. “That is not because I do not want you here, but because one greater than me would do you more harm.” She looked down slightly. “Believe me… I do not want you to go.”

“Then I won’t” Jannah cried. “I’m not scared of a storm, I’m not scared of this forest!”

“You should be.” said Lin, her eyes becoming distant again as she turned back to face the sky. There was a blinding flash of lightning, followed shortly by a forceful crack of thunder. It began to pour rain.

“Jannah, please!” cried Shay from behind her. They had pulled the hood of their coat over their head, but was getting soaked quickly. 

Jannah tore her eyes away from Lin and dashed over to Shay. “Okay, come on, it’s this way to get out of the wreck.” she said, keeping her gaze to the ground.

There was another crash of a tree somewhere else nearby in the wreck. Jannah heard Lin jump down from her place and follow after her and Shay as they moved to get out of the ship.

“Should we find shelter?” asked Jannah.

“I think we need to get as far away from here as possible, first.” said Shay, panting. “Besides, the safest place is the station. We should just brave it and try to get back.”

“I don’t know if we’ll make it.” said Jannah, clambering over wreckage.

“I thought you weren’t scared.”

“I’m not. Just being realistic.”

“Your friend is right.” said Lin’s voice from farther behind. “You should get away.”

They had made it through a blocked hallway and Jannah turned to look at the woman behind them. “Then you should, too.” she insisted again. “There isn’t going to be much left here to be guardian of, if the storm tears it all apart.”

“This is my fault.” explained Lin. “I have not performed my duty of protector as expected.”

“What does that even mean?”

“I am not sure I can explain.”

“Lin, please!” Jannah begged. “I can’t help you if I don’t --” 

There was a rumble in the ground and Shay stumbled, falling to the dirty metal floor of the wreck. Jannah immediately helped them up, and they continued, not speaking until they had made it outside of the ship. 

Outside, they could now see the wind rushing through the trees, which swayed violently. They were not spared from the full power of the torrential rain, either. Another huge bolt of lightning and huge crack of thunder rang out. Shay grabbed Jannah’s hand and dragged her towards the edge of the clearing, but before they could go any further, the vines and branches of the surrounding foliage surged up in unnatural and rapid motion to block their path.

“What the --” Shay said, stepping backwards. They dashed over several feet in search of a new path, only for the same thing to happen -- thick ropes of vine and thorny branches that blocked any escape from the vicinity of the wreck.

“We’re trapped.” muttered Jannah, turning back to look at Lin.

Lin was standing in the center of the clearing, her long, dark hair entirely soaked and clinging to her back. Rainwater dripped from her clothes and fingertips. Despite the cold air and darkness, she looked warmer than ever, a flush of life and rage across her skin as she stood in a firm stance of defiance. 

“Let them go.” Lin growled in a low voice. “The one you want to punish is me.”

Shay glanced at Jannah, who looked back in confusion. 

There was another crash of lightning, as if it was a response to Lin’s statement. Nothing else happened for a moment, before Lin let out an angry cry and dashed towards the treeline. The plants blocking the path thickened as she approached, but she didn’t slow. Taking a large vine in her hand, she twisted the plant around her arm and gave it a mighty yank. It stretched in protest before snapping entirely. The rest of the plants shrank back a bit. 

Lin turned to Jannah, eyes burning as they were before. “Go!” she cried. 

Shay didn’t hesitate, and grabbed Jannah’s arm again, tugging her onto the path through the now dark forest. 

“Dammit, we need a light.” Shay muttered, scrambling through their pockets. Eventually they found a small multi-function object which did include a flashlight. Switching it on, the path before them was dimly lit by the tiny light. “Not much, but it should get us back.” said Shay. “Jannah, come on. This storm is the worst I’ve ever seen on the planet.”

Being pulled onward, Jannah glanced back at Lin one more time, whose arm was twisted in another vine. 

She couldn’t tell if Lin had a hold of the vine, or if it had a hold of her.

  
  


Three full days after the ordeal at the wreck, Jannah still could barely sleep. Throwing off her blanket, she slid on her shoes and grabbed a sweatshirt. She quietly padded through the halls of the station, stopping into one of the labs where she kept several of her growing projects. Smiling softly, she checked the new growth on her little plants beneath the bright glow of the grow lamps. Mostly healthy: she had cared for them well. 

She was jolted to surprise when she heard a sharp metallic banging on the door of the station, just down the hall. It was quiet enough that she doubted the rest of the sleeping researchers had heard it, but strong enough that someone would certainly notice if it continued. Her heart jumped, half in fear and half in hope -- could it be? She dashed to the door and after jamming her fingers at the lockpad in the dark, she managed to get the door open.

Hope and fear confirmed, it was Lin.

“What are you doing here?” Jannah whispered, but in her shock it was much like a hiss.

Lin had a smear of mud on her chest, and her pants looked dirty. Her hair was a little tangled and there was a tear in her sleeve. “I had to come and make sure you were okay.” she answered plainly. 

“It’s been days!”

“Still.” Lin cocked her head. “You and your friend, you both were unharmed?”

Jannah nodded quickly. “Yes, Shay and I are fine…” she looked at Lin’s face, spying a scratch on her cheek. “Are you…” She reached out to touch her cheek.

Lin’s hand got to her own cheek before Jannah could. She touched the scratch lightly and pulled her hand away, inspecting it to find a thin line of red. “Bleeding, yes.” she noted. “I didn’t think I could do that anymore.”

“You’re more human.” Jannah said quietly.

“What do you mean?” Lin asked.

Jannah glanced behind her into the mostly silent station. “We should talk somewhere else. I don’t want anyone to hear us and wake up… you’re kind of hard to explain, especially at this hour.”

“Okay. Where shall we go?”

“Just. Away?” Jannah pulled the door closed behind her. “Follow me.”

They walked in silence a good ways away from the station, near where the trees began to thicken, where Jannah had set up a little field tent for herself. She sometimes slept out there when she was taking recordings of night wildlife or spending a lot of time tracking celestial objects. She unhooked the flap of the tent, and climbing inside, shoved aside a variety of equipment and turned on the dim battery lantern she had hooked above.

“A little cramped, but kind of cozy.” Jannah said, motioning Lin inside.

“You do research here, too?” Lin asked, settling herself on the floor.

“Sometimes. It’s like a little outpost. I’d have it more than just a few hundred yards from the station if my dad would actually let me, but I understand his concern.”

“But you came all the way out to the Carterhaugh!”

“I came back, though. I don’t think I’d enjoy spending the night in that place…” Jannah looked up at Lin. “Though, I suppose that’s what you do, huh?” 

Lin stared. “You were saying I was more human. What does that mean?”

Jannah frowned. “Well, it’s like… When I first met you, you seemed more like just part of the planet than a person from Rhea, or Earth, you know? And sometimes your eyes go kind of distant, like you’re not really here… It’s hard to explain. But right now you seem so, solid? And your words are more natural, like you finally remembered who you really are.”

Lin looked down into her lap for a long moment. “Perhaps that’s why things hurt again.”

Jannah leaned closer and tried to catch her eyes. “Lin? What does that mean?”

Lin rolled her neck and rubbed her shoulder. “When I came here… After fighting the other day… That’s why it took me so long.”

“Wait, was the forest fighting you the whole time?” Jannah cried. “Look, Lin, I want to help you. But I can’t do anything if you don’t explain to me what’s really going on. I think you’re in your own mind enough right now to be able to do that.”

Lin looked up at Jannah, her eyes full of that deep and present sadness that she had seen before. “Yes. I suppose I should try to explain everything better.” She rubbed her scratched cheek again. “I was once human. I know that. I’m not really sure what I am now, but it isn’t fully human.”

“Well, I gathered as much.” said Jannah. “There’s no way you would have lived this long out here alone.”

“I’m not really alone, Jannah.” Lin said quietly. “The planet… She spoke to me.” 

“She?” 

“This planet is not like Earth.” Lin continued. “Earth is a rock. A living rock, sure, but… this planet is a thinking being of rock and water and trees. Her power is over everything in these woods.”

“A sentient planet.” Jannah breathed. “That’s incredible. And also incredibly hard to believe.”

“Is it so far-fetched now that you’ve seen what She’s capable of?” Lin asked. “The fact that I’m alive, or the way the planet tried to keep you and Shay from leaving the wreck?”

“I guess that’s true.”

“I didn’t really understand this until later, but after we crashed the planet began interfacing with the ship’s systems. She’s absorbed knowledge of humanity from the Carterhaugh’s computers.” Lin explained. “I wonder if the same has occurred with your research station.”

“She knows we’re here?” Jannah asked. “Well. Stupid question. Of course she does.”

“She would have known as soon as the first construction ship landed.” said Lin darkly. “Nothing can touch the surface without Her knowledge.”

Jannah shifted a little uncomfortably where she sat. She looked back at Lin, and how the trip through the forest to the station had left her so ragged. “Is the planet… angry with you?”

Lin looked down. “After the crash…” she began after a moment, “I really shouldn’t have survived. But the planet, She reached out to me. In exchange for me sharing my memories, She would help me live.” She passed her fingers over her badge on her shirt, now a bit obscured by mud. “But I ceased to be myself then. I’ve belonged to her ever since. Just another creature of the planet.”

“That’s not true!” said Jannah, leaning forward and reaching for Lin’s hand. “She may have kept you alive, but you’re still a sentient being! You’re human, and we can’t belong to anyone else but ourselves.”

Lin accepted Jannah’s hand and smiled, faintly, but shook her head. “That’s just it, Jannah. That’s why She’s so angry with me… You’ve helped me remember who I am, where I came from. I can never truly belong to the planet the way Her trees and creatures do.” She squeezed Jannah’s hand a bit. “She’s jealous I might become close to someone that isn’t Her.”

“I just want to help.” said Jannah. Lin’s hand felt so much warmer than usual. Or maybe it was her own hands and body that were warmer than usual? “Lin, you’ve been through so much. The other day… I mean, to defy a force so great as an entire planet? That’s incredibly brave.”

“I just can’t believe you’re not as scared of Her as you should be. The power of an entire planet is massive and unknowable.” said Lin, shaking her head in amazement.

Jannah shrugged. “I mean, I guess.” Then she reached up and unzipped part of the top of the tent, pulling down the lantern and turning it off. A thin, clear, mesh remained between them and the open sky, but they could see the stars clearly as soon as their eyes began to properly adjust. 

“This is why I’m not scared.” said Jannah, after they had just looked for a moment. “I’ve traveled quite a bit between planets in my lifetime. I know how big planets are. I know how big stars are. I know how big the universe is, and all of those things are so dazzlingly and terrifyingly massive that I can’t really be afraid of them anymore. Reality is so massive, and endless, that after you spend a while having a little crisis about it, it starts to not affect you so much.”

“In accepting your fear, you’ve become fearless?” 

“Not quite fearless.” Jannah laughed. “I’m just saying… what’s the endless power of one crazy sentient planet compared to the endless power of every star out there? For all I know they could come crashing down any day. I don’t think they will, really. It’s nicer to live my life thinking that some huge disaster won’t tear my world apart.”

“What if it does?” said Lin quietly. “What if your ship crashes without warning on a strange planet far from home?”

Jannah was quiet for a moment, realizing what she had said. “Then I’ll deal with it one step at a time.” she said finally. “I mean, in all my research, sometimes I don’t learn what I thought I would, or I make a mistake that sets me back, but it’s never the end. Sometimes it’s the beginning of something much more interesting.” She shrugged. “I went to the Carterhaugh looking for answers about Dr. Simons. I still don’t know what happened to him, but I met you, and through that, I’m getting a way better idea of what’s really going on with this planet.” 

Lin didn’t say anything else for a little while. Eventually she adjusted herself from a sitting position down so she could lay and look at the stars above the tent. There wasn’t a lot of room in the tent, so eventually, Jannah untangled her own legs from beneath her body and lay down beside Lin, arms touching, heads almost. 

“Do you remember traveling much?” asked Jannah as they gazed up at the sky.

“No.” said Lin. “I know I came from Earth, but… perhaps I had not been away from home for long. You said you had traveled a lot?”

“Yeah. I’ve been to all the main planets of the Administration. Your Earth, my Rhea… Dad and I spent a while on Clio, and we’ve passed through Sibyl and Liberty, too. I like the greener planets the best, though.” She laughed a bit. “That’s why I was so excited to come here!”

“What’s this administration?” Lin asked.

“The Perseus Administration. They consolidated a bunch of planetary governments into one, including the Terran Alliance.” explained Jannah. “Happened about 25 years ago, so it was even a few years before I was born.”

“Perseus… that’s familiar. Why do I know that name?” 

“Ancient hero of legend.” said Jannah. “There’s a constellation on Earth known as Perseus, and on Rhea, too, though they’re made of totally different stars. I guess some folks weren’t too creative, huh?” 

“Constellations…” thought Lin for a moment. “I do remember some of those. I can remember the shapes but not the stories.”

“You know, I’ve been studying and charting the positions of the stars here on the planet and I never once thought to name a constellation.” said Jannah, a little amazed at herself. “I mean… why not? They don’t have to be official or anything, but something like that might help me with my starmapping.”

“Hmm.” Lin reached her pointed finger up at a bright star. “I’ll make one. Let’s start with that one, there, and…” she paused for a moment, deciding on the clearest grouping. “Okay, look there, that bright one with the smaller one nearby?”

“Yes, I see it.”

“Follow it down to the left, see that little chain? They’re sort of far apart.”

“Wait, no, now you’ve lost me.”

Lin reached over and took Jannah’s arm, stretching it up so they were pointing together. “Here, follow again.”

“Oh, I see now!” Jannah grinned. “What is it?”

Now Lin smiled. “She’s doing just what you are, gazing and pointing with a bright eye and a sharp hand.” She thought for another moment. “Let’s call her ‘the explorer’.”

“What’s her story?”

Lin shook her head. “Oh, no. I can find the shape, but I’m certainly not good enough to come up with a story. Besides, does it need one?”

“I think all the best constellations have a story or two.” said Jannah. “Be it animals, hunters, heroes, or queens… Doesn’t have to be right, it just has to be interesting. What did our Explorer find up there?”

“You’re the explorer.” Lin said. “I’m just a soldier with half a memory.”

“Fine.” Jannah nudged her playfully in the rib with her elbow. “I adore myths and fairy tales. so this shouldn’t be too hard.” She took a breath. “Long ago, a curious young woman wished to explore the forest, for she knew there were secrets there, lying just below the surface. The people of her village told her it was too dangerous, but she did not care. She was afraid of the creatures and other dangers that lay within, but she wanted to learn the truth. And during her travels, she met a mysterious and beautiful warrior of a time long past, who defended her against the dangers of the forest and helped her uncover the secrets of that place…” Jannah began to blush a bit as she could tell Lin was staring at her, even though Jannah kept her eyes directly up. “It’s not very creative, I guess. It’s been a long week. I think the ancients of Earth could do a much better job…”

“Yes, but your story is more real, isn’t it? said Lin. “I think I like that.” 

Jannah laughed awkwardly. “It’s not my best work. Shay could do better, they’re much more narratively minded than I am.”

“That isn’t the point.” Lin was still looking at Jannah. “It’s been so long since anyone… human has said anything so kind to me.”

“What do you mean?” Jannah asked. She knew.

“To say that I am brave? That I am beautiful?” Lin laughed a bit. “When I’m in enough of my own mind to know anything, I mostly just feel like some sort of zombie space marine.”

Jannah laughed out loud, then stopped herself. “I’m sorry, that’s just, really funny to me for some reason…” She turned to look over at Lin at last. “You’re definitely not a zombie space marine. You’re an enigmatic force, with… really nice eyes.” She blinked and rolled away from her, covering her rapidly flushing face. “Well, that might be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever said.” 

And that was the problem Jannah was having. The whole thing seemed so stupid on a surface level, like some cheap romance novel she’d pick up at a spaceport, or a slightly better written fantasy on one of Shay’s fan-fiction sites. Her seemingly had normal life upturned by the appearance of a handsome but peculiar space marine! Didn’t matter if you replaced the marine with a vampire, a pirate, a Clionan river guide, an ancient highlander, or a wealthy Sybiline heiress. The mystery and danger would suck the readers right in. 

But Jannah didn’t see Lin as a dashing hero, or even as the mystery herself. She was tied to it, sure, but Lin was as much of a victim of the planet as Jannah feared she and the other researchers soon might be. She had made the mistake before of putting women she was attracted to up on a pedestal, and it always made her miserable whether she ended up in a relationship or not. She didn’t want to like Lin because Lin could protect her, and she didn’t want to like her because she thought she could be a hero to Lin and save her from her ordeal. They were just two people in an abnormally weird situation, who, she supposed, could probably help each other.

“You know,” said Jannah, finally figuring out what made her the most happy. “It’s just so nice to have someone to talk to about my research that doesn’t know everything already. I haven’t had any friends outside my field for a while, and sometimes it just feels like everyone is better at everything. When I talk about my work to you, I sort of feel like an expert.”

“You’re certainly the most expert that I know.” said Lin. “You’re the… only person I know, sort of.”

Jannah covered her face again. “Ugh. That’s making it weirder.”

“What is?”

“It’s just…” Jannah let out a combination sigh-grumble of frustration. “I sort of? Like you, Lin. Like? In a more than ‘You’re an enigma!’ way and definitely a little more than ‘my weird new space friend’ way. Like if the circumstances were anything else and you were just… my classmate or my neighbor or something I wouldn’t feel so weird about it, but… you said it yourself, I’m the only person you know.”

Lin took in a thoughtful breath beside her. “But that has not changed your ability to form a perfectly normal friendship with me.”

“You said the planet like… owns you.”

“And you told me She does not.” Lin sat up a little bit. “Jannah, while you claim that I may be too impossibly different for you to reconcile your feelings, you have also spent all this time telling me that I’m normal, that I’m free, that I am just as human as anyone else.”

Jannah pulled her hands away from her face to see Lin looking down at her. She gazed back up for a moment before squeezing her eyes shut. “Okay. Fine. Let’s just --” She sat up herself, and wringing her hands together she brought her attention back to Lin. “Can I just like… Kiss you?” She made a face that was supposed to be a smile but didn’t feel normal. “Just to like. Be sure if I’m making up all of these feelings or whatever.” she added, rather quickly.

“Like an experiment. I certainly have no objection to that.” said Lin gently, offering a soft smile. She brushed a stray hair from her face and looked to Jannah expectantly. 

“Okay, yeah, alright.” Jannah said, swallowing. “It’s just, been a while, so I, uh. Oh, damn it!” She leaned forward and without ever really figuring out where to put her hands, kissed Lin. 

Lin didn’t react much initially, but after a second she took Jannah’s shoulders and held her there, so that Jannah didn’t pull away too soon. Eventually, Jannah tugged back slightly, heart slamming at the confines of her chest. She offered another nervous smile. “Was that alright?”

Lin wore a wry but pleased smile, and her eyes were free of the sadness that usually plagued them. There was no distant look, only the warm, dark, inquisitive eyes that wanted to hear about Jannah’s plants, and her life, and now, her dearest thoughts. 

“Seriously, don’t just stare at me.”

“Jannah.” Lin started… “With you so close, I can’t hear the planet at all. It’s only my thoughts and none of Hers.”

“Well, that’s good because this is really none of her business.” Jannah commented, still through her nervous face. 

“Absolutely not.” Lin raised her eyebrows. “Are you interested in repeating your experiment?”

“Well, yes, if that’s what proper research entails --”

Lin wrapped an arm around Jannah’s shoulder, pulling them together beneath the tent and the stars. She put her hand on Jannah’s cheek and kissed her back this time. 

  
  


Lin awoke to the horrible shriek of the shipwide disaster alarm. In trying to sit up, she slammed her head against the bunk above her. Between the bruise and the ringing of the alarm in her brain, that was going to result in a nasty headache. She slid off her bed, jammed her feet into her boots, and ran out into the hall. Several other crew members were dashing past her. 

“Hey!” she tried shouting over the blaring alert. “What’s going on?” She began to jog to catch up with someone who was heading in the direction of the main engine control stations. 

The other crew member, a sweaty sandy-haired young man turned to look at her. “Not exactly sure. I can’t explain how we got here, but we’re in an unknown planet’s atmosphere and losing altitude fast. I’ve heard about some sort of engine malfunction, but that doesn’t…” 

Lin had already run past him. Any hands in the engine room would be invaluable, so she had to get there, fast. Hopefully she wouldn’t be too late.

Unfortunately for the crew of the T.A.S. Carterhaugh, it was far too late. Lin felt the ship groan and tilt, and she slid to one side of the hallway. She tried to brace herself, but another tumble, a rush, and a hundred metallic and human screams before everything went black.

Lin awoke, first breathing in the scent of air that was metallic and burning. As she opened her eyes and tried to pull her hands to them, she realized her sleeve was pinned beneath a heavy box of displaced cargo. She tried to tug it free and found little strength in her limbs. The next few minutes were spent getting her arm out. Then time to sit up, blink the smoke from her eyes, and … acknowledge the pain. She cried out as the recognized a throbbing pain in her left leg, looking down to see that it was pierced by a mangled and bloodied piece of metal wreckage. 

Another few minutes to acknowledge the pain. It would have to be her new normal, for now. She had to get up. Eventually, she stood. She wasn’t sure how long it took. 

“Hello?” she cried out as loud as she could. It wasn’t very loud. Her voice was dry and raspy like sandpaper in her throat. “Please? Is anyone…” She couldn’t bear to finish her question, for fear of receiving no answer. 

For what was only a few minutes but felt like hours, Lin stumbled through the freshly wrecked starship, passing the what remained of her crew members, burned, bloody, and crushed in ways she did not want to continue to think about. She was probably crying, and that was why she could barely see anything around her for all of the tears. 

One flash of gold caught her eye -- the bright trim on the formal uniform jacket of the Carterhaugh’s commander, Captain Okorie. Lin staggered over to where the captain lay, trying to ignore the stabs of pain in her leg. 

“Sir, sir…” she called out, reaching out to touch the captain’s body. “Please…” 

But he was cold.

Lin let out a miserable cry that echoed off the metal of the crashed ship. She curled up and lay on the floor beside her dead commander for some time, letting her own sobs carry her off into an unknown period of oblivion.

When she awoke, her leg still hurt immensely, but she wasn’t sure if it was better or worse than the last time she was conscious. Still she felt a sense of renewed determination. The crew was gone… and the ones that could be recovered deserved a send-off better than an unceremonious crash to the surface of an unknown planet. She reached down and grabbed the captain’s arms, tugging him a few feet before stopping to catch her breath. She did this several times over the course of several minutes, bringing him towards where a panel of the hull had been crushed and melted to reveal the planet outside. She managed to pull him halfway through the opening before she tripped, careening backwards into the grass. A new stab of pain through her leg warned her that she had struck the piece of metal farther into her leg. 

Lin groaned and lay in the grass as tears leaked from her eyes and blood leaked from her wound. She was sure something else in her body was broken. She had probably hit her head, too, because her vision spun in ways she had never experienced before. There was no strength left in her body to get back up again, despite the last shred of will that fluttered helplessly through her skull, battering behind her eyes like Hope trying to escape Pandora’s cursed box. 

“Do. You. Want. To. Continue?” asked a robotic voice. It came from her communicator, the device still wrapped around her wrist. Lin let out as much of a gasp of shock as a dying woman could, and pulled her arm to her lips. 

“Hello?” she rasped. “Who… help.”

“Do. You. Desire. To.” the voice paused. “Live?” it finished, rising in pitch at the end as the ship’s computer systems did when supplying an audio query. 

“Please.” said Lin. “Please help me, I can’t move, I’m going to die.” 

“I. Help. I can help.” The voice’s syntax began to flow more smoothly. 

“Where are you?” Lin managed. “I’m… I’m not sure where I am.”

“I am beneath you. I am above you.” said the robotic voice, tinny through the comm. “I am the grass and trees. I am the water.” 

Maybe she was dreaming. “I’m in the grass.” she said quietly, dropping her wrist away from her mouth to flop on the ground. The grass was soft, at least.

“Do you desire to live?” the voice asked once more.

“How?”

“Let me look, so I may understand.”

Lin closed her eyes. “I’ll do whatever. I just...I don’t want to die out here alone.”

She drifted away again, as one often does when they keep sleeping in too long in the morning, and fall back asleep again, and again, until dreams seem so near to reality it becomes hard to be sure when you have woken up again. She dreamed of water that flowed over her head and filled her nose but didn’t burn with the feeling of losing air. She dreamed of the rush of wind through branches, and roots that tangled through the cool, dark earth with the same speed that birds darted from limb to limb. Petals opened, leaves decayed, rain fell, and when Lin did wake up again, the sky was bright. But, the clouds were different than before, and she could feel every limb. 

She sat up abruptly and easily, looking to see that the metal was gone from her leg, and the blood, too. There was no pain at all, in her leg, in her head, anywhere. She stood, looking around. It was perhaps still a dream, but it felt tangible enough. If so, there was work to be done.

Lin lost track of time the next few days. It never occurred to her that she might be hungry, because she wasn’t. She didn’t sleep, because she wasn’t tired. Days and nights passed, and Lin slowly brought the remains of the poor souls on board the T.A.S. Carterhaugh outside into the clearing. She slowly constructed several pyres, separate from each other so that they would not grow too large. She cleared away the grass around them so it would not set the entire forest ablaze. As night fell one evening, her work was done, and she lit the pyres of her crew members, wishing them a soft farewell as they burned into the quiet and starry sky.

It was then that she sat down and cried. Lin wept until she felt no tear was left, and until the fires began at last to burn themselves out. Then it began to rain with no warning, dousing the final embers. 

“What do I do now?” Lin whimpered quietly as the rain soaked her hair and clothes to her skin. She sat in the gradually muddying dirt, unsure of how to proceed with her original task accomplished, and no immediate urge to ensure her own survival. 

She felt a cool, soft hand touch her freezing and wet arm. Looking up there stood what she could best describe as a woman, but it wasn’t the right word. The figure’s entire form glowed as if she was made of the light that glimmered at the bottom of a pond. She had vivid green eyes and tangled hair that cascaded down forever like a mess of ivy. She smiled at Lin, and it was at once familiar and like nothing she could understand. 

“Is this a better form to communicate with you?” the woman asked. “From you and who fell here, from the computer, from your memories… to appear as one of your own would be comforting, would it not?”

“Who… who are you?” Lin stammered in wonder. 

The woman cocked her head. “Your knowledge does not have a word for it.” she said, looking a little disappointed. “This ground and forest… it is mine.”

“The planet belongs to you? A ruler, of some sort?”

“No, young one. I am the planet.”

“Oh.” Lin kept staring. “Okay.”

“When you opened your mind to me so that I could heal you, we became connected.” said the woman, or the planet. “Look in your heart, you understand who I am.”

Lin did think for a moment, and she realized she did know. The woman, the planet, She… had saved her! Given her strength from the brink of death so that she could carry out her task. As long as she remained connected with the planet, she could never die, as the life of that entire forested globe was in an eternal cycle. 

“Thank you.” Lin said. “What can I give you that you have given me the power to go on?”

The planet-woman placed her cool hand on Lin’s rain-soaked cheek. “Just as you are alone, I am alone, too. The creatures here are too small to be my companion. You are still small, yes, “ she said, patting Lin’s head, “But your people have great capacity for intelligence and emotion. I think, perhaps, we can understand each other.”

“I -- I can’t…” Lin continued to stare at the perfect human form the planet had created. She was stunningly beautiful, and something about the cadence of her voice turned Lin’s brain into the thickest of galley soup. 

“Whatever will make you comfortable will bring me...happiness.” said the planet, gently stroking her hand through Lin’s hair. “Don’t think. Just tell me what you desire.”

Lin fell into the soft embrace of the ethereal woman. She couldn’t hear her own mind or thoughts any more, only the echo of the planet’s voice inside and outside of her head. It was as if their thoughts were almost one and the same.

I will hold you.

Don’t leave me.

You are mine.

It was comforting, but cold.


	3. PART THREE: our final conclusions

**PART THREE**

_ our final conclusions _

“Jannah. Jannah, get up!”

Jannah grumbled and shifted over in her bed. “Shay, what could possibly be so urgent? I could hardly sleep last night.”

“It’s kind of hard to explain. You just have to see for yourself.” said Shay, giving Jannah another light shove. 

“Fine.” Jannah hauled herself out of bed to see what the fuss was about.

Soon, all four researchers were gathered on the balcony that overlooked the wide valley that spread below the station’s high point. 

Autumn had come to FC39, seemingly overnight.

“The trees have never done this.” said Waterman, staring out at the sea of orange and red leaves. “The entire time we’ve been here…”

“But the seasons do change, right?” asked Jannah, puzzled. “I thought --”

“Yes, they do.” confirmed Shay. “But slow, subtle temperature and weather shifts. Different animals, wildflower growth cycles, the like. But never, never like this.” They waved a hand at it all. 

“I don’t understand how it’s possible for something like this to occur so rapidly.” said Dr. Faulkner. “We need to document this extensively. Shay, please begin compiling all of the outdoor sensor data from the last 12 hours into something we can compare. Check the external station cameras, too.”

Waterman left the balcony briefly but returned with a camera. “We should take some extra pictures to include with the report.” she said. “Luckily I have some other photos with this same camera from the balcony, so we should be able to compare, at least to a few weeks ago.” She began lining herself up for a steady shot. 

Shay went inside and soon there was swift tapping heard from the keyboard. Jannah stood by her father and kept observing the landscape, as soft clicks were heard from Waterman’s camera.

“What does this mean?” Jannah asked softly.

“I think it means much more than we’re equipped to understand.” replied Faulkner. “I’ll admit, this is giving me the strangest feeling.”

Jannah shivered. “Yeah.”

Dr. Waterman paused suddenly and stood stiff. “Shay!” she called in nervous alarm. “You’d better come here quick.”

Shay was there in a flash. “What’s wrong --” they followed the line of Waterman’s arm pointing to something on the edge the grassy field that lay in front of the station. “Is that?”

Dr. Waterman was shaking her head. “It can’t be… not after all this time.”

Jannah peered out to where they were looking and saw it was a person -- as they moved closer, Jannah could make them out better and soon realized it was someone she had never seen before.

Waterman dashed inside to put the camera down, then continued towards the door of the station. Dr. Faulkner whirled around in surprise to see her go so quickly. “Lisa?” he called, anxiously running after her. “Stay here!” he ordered Jannah and Shay.

The two of them peered over the edge of the balcony, watching as Dr. Waterman eventually appeared below them, running across the field towards the figure. 

“Arthur?” she called. “Dr. Simons! You’re alive!”

Jannah shared a shocked glance with Shay, who shook their head in disbelief. “That’s him. I don’t know how, but… Dr. Simons is back.”

Arthur Simons was around Dr. Faulkner’s age, a bit stout, and hair that seemed quite well-kempt despite the man’s recent lengthy trip into the forest. He was sitting up on one of the metal lab tables as Dr. Waterman tittered around like an overworked hostess, constantly asking Simons questions about what had happened and did he need anything and what were they going to do next and such. Shay followed her closely, half taking orders and half trying to get her to calm down. Dr. Faulkner worked through a series of his own examinations, typing his findings into a neat report. Jannah just sat on a stool and watched him work as they all tried to uncover more of what had happened.

“Unfortunately, I have no recollection of what happened to me.” said Dr. Simons grimly while Dr. Faulkner prepared to take a blood sample. “Between when I first found the Carterhaugh, and waking up in the woods near the station this morning… I just don’t know. Not even sure how much time had passed.”

“Do you remember making your final transmission?” asked Jannah. “You warned us away from the wreck… but why?”

“I’ll play it for you.” Shay pulled up the audio on the computer.

Dr. Simons nodded as he listened. “That’s me and that’s my format, but I don’t remember making it. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize!” said Dr. Waterman. “We’re just glad you survived.”

“How.” started Jannah. “How did you survive?” She could feel a strange sense of dread in her stomach.

Dr. Simons shook his head. “I’m sorry, everyone, but I really don’t remember. I wish I could help, but --”

“Think! I’m sure you can recall something!” Jannah cried, standing up. Dr. Faulkner glared at her, and she slunk back down apologetically. “Please, Dr. Simons. If there is something really dangerous out there, we need to know.”

“Jannah! Dr. Simons is missing over a year of his memory.” cried Dr. Waterman. “There is something dangerous out there for certain.”

“I know, but --”

“I have half a mind to call the Administration and tell them they need to shut this entire operation down.” Waterman continued. “We’ve done our best, but we don’t have any idea what we’re dealing with here.”

Dr. Faulkner went over and put his hand on his fellow researcher’s shoulder, steadying her from her constant pacing. “Dr. Waterman, please. Let’s not do anything rash. It’s as you said, we’ve done our best, and I for one am not willing to abandon our project so easily.”

She glared at him. “You haven’t been here as long as I have, Benedict. You don’t know how it wears on you. I’m tired!”

Dr. Simons slid from his place off the table. “Both of you, stop. My return has caused tensions to rise high, I see. Have you eaten?”

Both Faulkner and Waterman looked sheepish. “No.” they mumbled in response.

Shay grinned. “Then let’s all get something to eat, and then regroup. A lot has happened, and we have a lot of work to do.”

Faulkner squeezed Waterman’s shoulder. “It’s going to be alright. We’re going to figure out what’s going on. That’s what we do.”

“Shay? Can we talk?”

“Yeah.” Shay muttered, not looking up from the console. They had been comparing the station’s sensor data from the past 12 hours, hour by hour. 

“Shay.” Jannah repeated. “It’s important.”

Shay looked up. “Sorry.” they said, switching off the monitor. “Sit down.” They gestured at a stool in the lab room and swiveled the desk chair around. “Waterman is really on edge, so I’m trying to find something here.”

“My dad, too.” said Jannah, taking a seat. “But I think he’s better at hiding it.”

“What do you make of it all? Honestly?” Shay asked, leaning forward.

“I think she’s right to be worried.” Jannah sighed. “Do you remember the other day when you came to the Carterhaugh with me?”

“How could I forget?” Shay shuddered. 

“The planet…she’s powerful” Jannah said. “I think that she wants us to leave.”

“She?” Shay stared. “Wait, is Lin --”

“Not Lin.” Jannah corrected quickly. “But she explained to me how the planet is a sentient being itself.”

“That’s insane.”

“Is it?” Jannah pressed. “We know this planet is strange. Today proves even more that it doesn’t behave to our expected patterns. If the planet chose to keep Lin alive, surely that must be similar to how Dr. Simons survived out there on his own…”

“Jannah, slow down!” Shay rubbed their head. “We can’t just assume that the entire planet is some kind of intelligent being based entirely on the information you’ve gained from someone who you used to think was a ghost. Lin -- whatever she is, how do you know you can trust her?”

Jannah gripped the edge of her stool. “Don’t you trust me?”

“That’s not the question.”

“You don’t know her like I do.” Jannah looked down. “She’s connected to the planet. It, her, whatever, kept Lin alive after the crash. That’s why she’s lived this long without changing. But I don’t think the planet likes us here. I get the feeling we’re being scared away.”

“Then why send Dr. Simons back?” Shay shook their head. “If taking him was to scare us off then…”

“The planet finally realized we weren’t going to leave until we had answers about him.” Jannah suggested. 

“Your dad and Dr.Waterman are never gonna believe this. Hell, if I hadn’t seen how Lin was yelling at that storm, I don’t think I’d believe you either.” Shay got up from their chair. “Jannah… can you talk to her? Find out for sure if the planet is a threat. If we’re in legitimate danger, maybe Waterman is right to want to call it all off.”

Jannah peered through the microscope for a moment, before jotting a few things down. “I know my father said you were in perfect health, and you are, sort of.”

Dr. Simons stared. “Only sort of?”

“Well, that’s the thing… I’m not entirely sure.” Jannah picked up her notes. “I want to do a comparative bioanalysis with some of your samples. I’m almost certain that you have more characteristics natural to the planet than you did when you disappeared.”

“What are you implying, then?”

Jannah sat down directly across from Dr. Simons and looked him in the eye. “I need you to tell me honestly. Did you speak to anyone, or any… Thing, when you were out there? Don’t tell me you don’t remember, you’ve got to remember something.”

“Ms. Faulker.” Dr. Simons became stern. “I think you’re pushing this much too far.”

“No!” cried Jannah. “There’s something wrong here, and you’re part of it! I need to understand what’s at stake.” She got up and began cleaning up her supplies. “I just can’t accept that you don’t recall anything about being out alone. There have to be more answers.”

“Perhaps you’re getting involved in something beyond your ability to understand.”

“I’m perfectly capable --”

“Leave me be, Jannah.”

Jannah stood stiff. The voice she heard was still Dr. Simons, but not his usual tone or inflection. She whirled around and caught his eyes again. He was standing up now, and looked distant. His eyes were unfocused and yet looking directly at her. 

“Dr. Simons…?” Jannah asked timidly, grabbing for something to hold onto behind her.

“More or less.” said Simons, advancing towards her. “He was a lot like you, Jannah. A little too curious.”

A few potted plants on the far side of the lab fell with a crash off their metal shelves, sending moist dirt across the floor. The lights flickered, off once, then back on for a long moment, before turning off completely. The only lights were the plant lights in the back, and the glow of the computer monitors.

Jannah dived beneath a table and began crawling towards the far side of the lab, around Dr. Simons and towards the door. 

“Little human girl.” said Simons, tone almost pitying. “Your friend Waterman is right. You should leave this place forever. You do not belong.” he hissed. 

“We don’t mean any harm!” Jannah cried from beneath the table. “We only wanted to study the planet. See what it’s like!”

“And then what?” Simons boomed. More plants fell from the shelf, and the power in the room’s electronics surged and hummed. “I’ve seen what you humans do to your planets. I’ve looked into your computers, I’ve seen your minds. You would choke this world with your endless buildings and your endless people.”

Jannah clambered out from beneath the table only to find Dr. Simons blocking the door. He seemed bigger than he had been before, and loomed in the dimly lit doorway. 

“You will not be able to kill me the way you have killed worlds before.” said Simons. In the dark, it almost looked like his eyes were glowing.

“I’m just a researcher.” Jannah squeaked. “Please.”

Simons leaned closer. “You, Jannah, have tried to take something that belongs to me. You are unwise to try and steal away something beneath the power of an entire planet!”

With the final word, the power in the station surged, briefly turning the lights all on again in a blinding flash before putting everything out. Jannah let out an involuntary scream -- she wasn’t sure how loud it was. She slid back beneath the table as Dr. Simons brought down a fist towards her.

“This human is clumsy.” muttered Simons. He took hold and drove the table sideways with a mighty shove. The swiftly moving metal legs caught Jannah in the side and she groaned in pain before scrambling to the other side, near where the plants had fallen. 

It was then that Drs. Waterman and Falkner appeared in the doorway. 

“What the hell is going on?” bellowed Faulkner. 

Jannah popped up in the back of the room. “Dad! Help!”

Waterman ran up to Dr. Simons and took hold of his arm. He snarled and tossed his arm to the side, throwing her off of him and into a row of cabinets where she sank to the floor.

“Arthur…” she moaned. 

“It’s not him!” Jannah called. “He’s been overtaken.”

While Simons was facing away from him, Faulkner took a large glass flask from by the sink and struck Simons over the head with it. It didn’t down him, but hurt him enough, as he turned with a new rage towards Dr. Faulkner. 

“That’s right.” Faulkner said. “Pick on the senior researcher, at least.”

“You are not in charge here!” cried Simons, striking Faulkner. He didn’t deliver any kind of direct or accurate punch, but rather, all his strikes were wide and outward, like a bear swinging a heavy paw. 

Faulkner stumbled but didn’t fall, grabbing any objects he could from the counter to hurl towards Simons: notes, beakers, dishes. It didn’t seem to slow him down.

Jannah got up and ran over to Dr. Waterman, helping her up from the floor. “What do we do?” Jannah asked.

Dr. Waterman shook her head. “He’s strong. I’m not sure your father or I have any chance of overpowering him.”

Jannah watched, terrified, as her father struggled to keep their at bay. “Do you think we can get through to Dr. Simons,? At least enough that the planet won’t be able to totally control him?”

“Worth a shot.” muttered Dr. Waterman. “You go and see if you can get the lights turned back on.” Jannah dashed over to the panel by the door as Waterman straightened up.

“Arthur Simons!” she called. Dr. Simons stopped for a moment, not moving. “Arthur -- this isn’t you. You would never try to hurt anyone.”

“Don’t give in.” said Dr. Faulkner, backing away slowly still. “You’re a brilliant scientist and explorer. An individual who is stronger than this.”

“You test me.” Dr. Simons hissed through gritted teeth. His fists clenched and unclenched. 

Jannah bashed her hand on the panel in frustration, and to her surprise, the lights flicked back on. 

“Got it!” chimed Shay over the intercom system. “Power is back to normal, everyone.”

“Thank you!” cheered Jannah. 

Dr. Simons blinked at the sudden light. “Stop it!” he shouted at no one in particular, and his voice was sort of in between its current and usual stated. Suddenly, he dashed towards the door of the lab, pushing Jannah aside. “Out of my way!”

The three of them ran into the hall after Simons, but didn’t pursue far as he just ran for the exit of the station. They stood in stunned silence as the heavy door slammed shut, and Simons was gone.

Dr. Waterman sank to her knees. “We’ve really lost him now, haven’t we?”

Dr. Faulkner put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m afraid that seems to be the case.”

“What happened?” Shay asked, coming up from behind them.

Jannah sighed. “I was trying to find out more about Dr. Simons and if he knew more about the planet… I suspected he might be connected to the planet somehow, that she had affected him in some way…”

“And this proves it.” said Shay.

“Yeah.” Jannah frowned and looked down. “The planet overtook him and attacked. She’s really not happy.”

“She?” Dr. Waterman asked, as Faulkner helped her to stand. “Are you implying that the planet itself has a sentient consciousness?”

Jannah nodded. “I think this confirms it. We can replay the surveillance recording so you can hear everything he said but… that wasn’t Dr. Simons speaking to me. It was an absolutely furious entity that wants us gone.”

“I’m calling the Administration.” said Waterman, pulling away from Faulkner and stalking down the hall. “We’ve got to pull the plug. This is far more than four people can handle, and I’ve had enough.”

“Lisa!” Dr. Faulkner dashed after her.

Jannah looked sadly up at Shay, who returned a look of concern.

“Jannah…” they started. “You’re more mixed up in this than any of us.”

“I have to find Lin.” Jannah replied.

Shay shook their head. “And what if what happened to Dr. Simons happens to her? She’s not a middle-aged researcher, she’s a soldier in top condition! She could kill you.”

“She won’t.” said Jannah, starting for the door. “I’ve got to tell her what’s happening. She needs to know.”

“Won’t the planet know, then, too?” asked Shay. “I don’t think we can hide from her. We’re like… squirrels compared to such a massively influential being.”

“I know.” said Jannah. “But Lin is just a victim too, and while we couldn’t help Dr. Simons,

maybe we can help her.”

“Aren’t you scared?”

“Not at all.” Jannah lied.

It was cold when Jannah made her trip out to the Carterhaugh. She tugged her thin jacket around her tighter, regretting that she hadn’t packed anything warmer to anticipate a climate shift. It was a more difficult hike than usual. It seemed there were extra roots beneath her feet trying to trip her, and overgrown brush that blocked her path through the woods. Still, she pressed on against the nipping and unforgiving territory. 

When she arrived at the wreck of the Carterhaugh, she could see it was considerably more destroyed than when she had last visited. Her usual entrance into the wreck was blocked. Jannah began pacing around the outside of the crumbled wreck, searching for any space that wasn’t collapsed and shattered. 

“Jannah?” asked a quiet voice.

Jannah whirled. “Lin!” she cried, rushing forward to embrace her.

Lin caught her with a soft grunt, a little hesitant to return Jannah’s intensity. “You shouldn’t be here.” she said.

Jannah looked up at Lin. “And why not?”

“It’s not safe.” Lin gestured at the wreck. “Look, there’s nothing here. You couldn’t get back inside the ship if you wanted to.”

“I didn’t come back for the wreck.” said Jannah, touching Lin’s cheek. “I came back to find you.”

Slowly, Lin brought her own hand up to cover Jannah’s. “She’s not happy about this, you know.”

“I don’t really care.” Jannah looked down. “Though, I suppose that might explain why the trees changed overnight. And why she sent Dr. Simons back.” She shook her head. “But I sort of thought it was just because she didn’t want humans on the planet. Doesn’t make sense why she wouldn’t do anything about it until now.”

“Before, you all were just a nuisance. Now, you’re a threat.”

“How so?”

“Trying to take something that doesn’t belong to you.”

Jannah pulled Lin closer. “I told you before, you don’t belong to anyone but yourself.” 

“Well, She doesn’t think that.” sighed Lin.

“She doesn’t matter.” Jannah moved to kiss Lin, who didn’t object in the slightest. They stood there, interlocked for a too-brief moment, before the sudden crack of a falling tree echoed through the woods behind them.

Lin pulled away with a start. “Jannah, please. You’ve got to get out of here.”

Jannah looked down. “Dr. Simons… he came back, but the planet overtook him and he attacked us. Could that happen to you?”

Lin caught her gaze, serious. “Yes. And that is why I’m asking you to stay away from me. I’m telling you while I know my mind is still my own.”

A few tears began to spring to Jannah’s eyes. “Dr. Waterman is calling it all off. We’re leaving.” She took Lin’s hand and squeezed it. “Come with us. You can go back to Rhea, or Earth, or wherever. You don’t have to stay here.”

“I think I do.” said Lin sadly. “I’m not sure if I can survive away from the planet.” 

“Isn’t it worth the risk, then?” cried Jannah. “Even if you can’t live away from here, is it really any kind of life?”

“It won’t matter when you’re gone.” said Lin with a sad smile. “Soon enough, She’ll make sure I forget I was ever unhappy.”

“Lin, that’s not fair.” Jannah crossed her arms. 

“You’ll forget about me, eventually, too.” said Lin gently. “This was all too strange from the start. It’ll seem a bit like a dream.”

“It’s been a good dream, then.” said Jannah. “And I’m not willing to let go so easily.” She shook her head. “I understand that we have to leave, but I’m not going to leave you here. There has to be a way to break you away from her. Can you make any kind of bargain?”

Lin looked at the ground. “I’m...not sure. She’s a strange one. You or I could never really understand what she wants.” 

“Please try.” Jannah reached up to cup Lin’s face again. “Don’t give up. You’ve survived this long, don’t pass up the chance for the life you deserve.”

“It won’t be easy, you know.”

“Of course.” Jannah smiled. “You know me well enough, that you should know I’ll try anything.” 

“So smart, and yet so foolish.” said Lin with a wry grin.

Jannah shrugged. “When you know what to do, come tell me at the station. I’ll heed your warning and not come back here. At least there, if something should happen, it won’t be just me.”

Lin nodded. “How much time until your Administration comes to take you away?”

Jannah thought for a moment. “A few days at least, but not much longer than a week. Whatever needs to happen, we won’t have much time to prepare.”

“Hopefully we won’t need much time.” Lin took in a deep breath and let it out, smiling at Jannah. “Thank you, for being willing to try. I’m sorry that I put you in more danger than you deserved.”

Jannah laughed a little. “I think it’s my fault for being so persistent.”

“I’m glad you were.”

“Me too.” 

Jannah closed her eyes and kissed Lin again, ignoring the sudden rush of freezing wind as she gently tugged Lin closer to her. She felt truly defiant, truly invincible. Despite the scare at the lab with Dr. Simons, Jannah couldn’t help but feel in her heart that there was a way to save Lin from the planet.

And yet, part of her wondered if it was all just a little too much adventure for one young scientist to handle.

“What do you mean they’re coming today?” Jannah asked, a bit caught off guard.

“The Administration. They sent out an extraction team on a transport as soon as I called -- I guess they’re getting here faster than anticipated.” Dr. Waterman said. She seemed relieved. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go finish packing my things.”

“When this is all over, you need a nice vacation.” said Dr. Faulker. “Me too, I suppose.”

Jannah shared a panicked glance with Shay, and motioned them to follow her into one of the lab rooms. 

Shay leaned against the counter and raised their eyebrows. “So, we’re getting picked up in a matter of hours -- you have a plan, I’m assuming.”

Jannah wrinkled her nose in frustration and thought. “I have most of a plan! I’m just not sure it’s enough.”

“How much danger are we in?”

“Remember what happened to Dr. Simons after he came back?” Jannah explained. “Well… Lin has not only been here a lot longer, but she’s a lot stronger than a middle-aged scientist. If the planet turns her against us, we don’t stand a chance.”

Shay looked grave. “Understood. How can I help?”

“We only have a few hours before the Administration gets here. I anticipate that’s when the planet will try to attack us. That would ensure nobody ever came back here again.”

“Which is exactly what she wants.” Shay nodded. “I don’t think Waterman will help you. She’s a mess right now.”

“And I don’t care to risk my father trying to stop me.” Jannah said. “It’s just you and me.”

“But what can I even do?” said Shay. “I mean, you have a connection with Lin --”

“It’s more than that.” Jannah interrupted.

“Oh. I see.” Shay’s eyes were wide, but there was a bit of a smirk. “In any case, I’m not a fighter. I can’t help you hold off the rage of an entire planet.”

“Actually, you can.” said Jannah. “Let’s go to your computer, and I’ll explain.”

Hours passed. When Jannah had finished explaining her plan, there was still a great deal of waiting to do. The two packed for a while, but neither of them really had that much. They were mostly sad to leave behind some of the growing plants in the labs that they had grown quite attached to. Considering the malicious sentience of the planet, they didn’t really care to risk what taking the plants offworld might result in. Then the two sat in Shay’s room as they had so often over the last months, Shay perched on their computer chair, and Jannah draped in some manner across Shay’s bed. Jannah felt heavy, cold, and feared the worst could come to pass. Noticing her distress, Shay tried to keep them occupied by talking about their favorite things: suggestions for new books to read, favorite episodes of Kim’s Moon, plans for places to visit when they went back home. It was distracting enough, for a time. 

“The Administration ship is in orbit!” Dr. Waterman cried from some other part of the station. 

Dr. Faulkner peeked his head into the room. “Hey, sweetheart.” he said to Jannah. “You all packed up and ready to go?”

Jannah nodded with a forced smile. “Yeah, Dad. Thanks for checking in.”

“I’m sorry this turned out to be so difficult.” Faulkner sighed. “I had hoped for so much more. And… so much less at the same time.”

“I certainly think we learned a lot,” said Jannah. “It’s alright. There is always more out there to explore.”

Faulkner smiled. “You’re right. I’ve got to go shut a few more things down. See you soon.”

As soon as Dr. Faulkner was gone, Jannah jumped up from the bed. “Okay, as soon as the planet knows the Administration is here, she’ll surely send Lin after them. At least, Lin expects as much. I’m going to go out and meet her on the way to the station.”

“Right. While I stay here and… distract the planet?” Shay asked as if Jannah hadn’t already explained twice already.

“Yes! Nonsense data, videos, text, random images and information. It doesn’t really matter much what you put into the systems, but if the planet is tapped into the computers as I think she is, she’ll have to spend some time processing through that.” Janah explained. “It won’t be much - but I think it will be just enough to buy me a moment or two to get through to Lin.”

Shay nodded. “I promise to do my best.” They looked down. “Jannah, be careful out there. You’re really brave, and I could never do what you’re about to do, and so I’m just so glad I can help, even a little bit.”

Jannah adjusted her shirt and retied the laces of her boots. “I’ll need all the luck you can wish me.”

“You know, it’s getting dark and pretty cold out there.” said Shay. They got up and pulled their large green coat from a hook. “Take this.” they said, holding it open so Jannah could slip her arms inside. It was pretty huge on her, and they both laughed at the sight. 

“Thank you, Shay.” Jannah said, a little tear springing to the corner of her eye. “I won’t feel so alone out there.”

Shay pulled her into a tight hug. “Come back to us, okay? If not for me, at least for Dr. Faulkner.”

Jannah laughed a bit sadly against their chest. “I’ll come back. I’ve made a lot of promises to loved ones, and I intend to keep them.”

Shay pulled back and smiled. “You got this, Jannah. Good luck.”

Jannah tugged on the sleeves of Shay’s coat as she headed out the door, giving a slight wave. In the hall, she watched for Waterman or her father, but they were out of sight. She dashed to the station door and stepped out into the cool evening. 

Glancing up into the sky, she saw the transport ship coming down to land. The looming silvery bird, lit from below by flaming thrusters, descended slowly towards the surface. Jannah only watched for a moment before running away from the station, and into the meadow valley it overlooked. 

She remembered the day when Dr. Simons came stumbling out of the forest, and looked to the treeline, half hoping and half terrified to see Lin emerge. 

Would she even recognize her if she did?

Jannah waited, her stomach twisting, her heart pounding, chilly hands shoved into the pockets of Shay’s huge coat. The branches of the trees rushed and swayed in the wind. She heard the Administration ship come to land far behind her, but she didn’t turn away. Scanning the forest, she began to wonder if perhaps the planet would just let them leave without any trouble.

Jannah ground her teeth. No.

“I’m not leaving without Lin!” Jannah called as loudly as she could towards the forest. “She doesn’t belong here any more than I do, and she doesn’t belong to you!”

“You are mistaken.” said a voice, low beside her. 

Jannah whirled. “Lin!” she cried.

Lin was more unrecognizable than the first day Jannah had met her. Her hair, normally long, black, and smooth, seemed coarse and tangled, sprouting a few leaves like the ivy that snaked up the tallest trees. Her eyes, still dark, were distant and unfocused, as Dr. Simons had been in the lab. The old shirt could barely be seen, it was covered in dark dirt, the badge that bore Lin’s position and name was hidden by a clump of thick moss. It was as if her entire body was tinged a slight green, but it didn’t seem healthy. Rather, the color was sickly and hostile.

“You will leave here or you will die here.” said Lin. Her voice was impossibly cold and she spoke with little inflection. 

“Lin, it’s me.” said Jannah. She cautiously reached out towards her shoulder. 

Lin growled and grabbed Jannah’s arm. Her nails were long and caked with dirt underneath. She harshly tossed Jannah’s arm away. Her balance thrown, Jannah stumbled back a few steps.

“I’m trying to help. You have to fight her.” Jannah pleaded. Lin didn’t say anything. She stood still, staring back at Jannah, who was having trouble looking at her. “I can’t just leave. You know me, I have to try.” Jannah continued, trying to keep her voice soft and calm.

“How do you know she-- I-- could live beyond this world?” said Lin, fists clenched.

“I don’t” Jannah shrugged. Then she straightened up and glared. “But I think it’s worth the risk than to spend an eternity with a jealous and spiteful thing like you!” Jannah stamped on the ground, hard, for emphasis. 

Lin lurched forward slightly, hesitated a moment, but then continued in her momentum crashing into Jannah. “Then you choose to die!” she hollered.

Jannah felt the breath knocked out of her as Lin tackled her. She lay there for a beat before trying to push Lin off to her left. One push wasn’t enough, but she followed it with a much harder shove in combination with a slight roll, and she managed to get the stronger woman off of her. Then, as fast as she could, she got up to her knees and grabbed Lin by her right shoulder as she tried to get up. Jannah tugged her back down and pinned her hands on either one of Lin’s shoulders. She could feel that Lin was trying to shove her off, but Jannah pushed down hard, staring into Lin’s face.

“Lin!” she said. “Please! You’re stronger than this, you don’t have to listen to her.”

Lin snarled at her and pushed back up, but Jannah managed to counter and keep her pinned to the ground.

“You are not stronger than me.” Lin spat.

“But I am extremely determined.” said Jannah, letting a bit of a smile creep onto her face. 

Briefly, Lin’s eyes refocused a bit, and she made eye contact with Jannah. A look of surprise appeared, and she opened her mouth to say something before closing it and looking distant again.

“That’s it!” said Jannah quietly. “Come on, Shay.” She didn’t dare a glance back at the station.

“You do not fight alone.” observed Lin.

“Of course not.” said Jannah. “Neither do you. Please, Lin, come back to me.”

Lin reached up and grabbed Jannah’s arms, pulling her sharply towards her, and then rolling them both over quickly so that Lin had Jannah pinned. 

Jannah’s heart pounded. “H-hey this wouldn’t be so bad if you weren’t saying you wanted to kill me.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Shay, I really hope you can give me a little more of an opening, here.”

“Your friend cannot hear you.” said Lin, though she was starting to sound a little less angry and a little more confused. 

Jannah swallowed. “Alright, I know you’re there. Just --” She wiggled her arms free the best she could, but rather than trying to get Lin off of her, she wrapped her arms around her and pulled her even closer, trapping her in the strongest bear hug Jannah could muster. 

There was a moment, and Jannah felt Lin get a little less rigid in her arms.

“Jannah?” she asked quietly in her ear.

Jannah smiled, and she almost felt like crying. “Yes, it’s me!” She helped them both to sit up. Looking into Lin’s eyes now, they seemed a little more usual, though she didn’t look much different than before. “Stay with me, now.”

“I’m...trying.” said Lin, and Jannah could tell she was struggling. “Something else holds Her attention.”

“Exactly as planned.” said Jannah, grinning now. “We’re getting out of here, and you’re coming with us.” 

“Jannah…” Lin touched reached up to touch her cheek. “I’m already lost to Her. It would be nearly impossible to --”

“You’re not lost.” said Jannah. “Maybe Dr. Simons is, but you’ve got me. We’ve got each other. It can’t be impossible.”

Lin started to shake her head but then stopped as her eyes went wide and her body rigid. “Oh, She’s angry. Just… hang on!” 

Jannah didn’t wait for Lin’s eyes to go distant again before holding her tight to her body again. Lin struggled against her arms, but Jannah was not moving. The two knelt on the ground, Lin thrashing, Jannah crying, as the wind started to blow faster around them. 

“I don’t care what claim you have on her!” Jannah called into the gale. “I’ll sit here as long as I have to!”

Clutching the struggling Lin to her chest, Jannah gazed past her into the darkening field. There, she saw a figure slowly materialize. It was a tall, glowing woman, about twice the size of Lin. If not for the storm brewing and the dead leaves whipping past in the wind, she would have looked almost ethereal. 

“Nice of you to show up in person.” Jannah said, flat.

“This form is limited.” remarked the figure, the planet herself, Jannah supposed. “You do not understand how much I am capable of.” She shook her head. “But you, little mortal, you are desperate. Even with your friend attempting to occupy me, you cannot hope to win.”

“I’m not the one who has to win.” said Jannah. “It’s her.” She gave Lin a squeeze. “And she isn’t alone. The only one alone here is you.”

The planet flicked her shining hand, and the rain began to pour from the sky. Suddenly soaked, Jannah struggled to keep hold of Lin as the ground started to become slippery mud beneath their knees. 

“I- I can’t keep fighting her.” gasped Lin. “Everything’s so loud, I can’t think.”

Jannah wiped wet hair away from Lin’s face. “Just focus on me, then. Look at me, don’t worry about her. Whatever she tries is meaningless. We’ve already won.”

“We’ve already won.” whispered Lin to herself, repeating it a few times before closing her eyes again. She looked almost meditative. 

“You waste your energy, both of you.” said the planet. “Perhaps, something else can pull your attention as you tried to do to me.” She snapped her fingers and a bolt of lightning struck down in the corner of Jannah’s eye.

She looked, briefly, towards where it had struck, and saw the corner of the research station catch fire. Jannah watched in horror as the flames began to spread despite the pouring rain. She heard distant shouts and could see figures running between the station and the Administration ship.

“You people should never have come here.” said Lin, not in her own voice again. When Jannah looked back at her, her eyes were not distant. Rather, they were burning with an unsettling intensity, much like the fire at the research station.

“Lin. Lin!” Jannah shouted. “Just focus on me, remember?”

“If only you can keep your focus as well.” commented the planet. “Who do you care for more?”

“I care for everyone.” said Jannah. “For my team, for Lin, once, even, for this planet -- but you choose to reject that care.”

“You humans are invaders!” cried the planet. “I’ve seen what you do. You strip, you build, you fight, but you do not grow. You will never be welcome here.”

“It’s shameful, the things that we’ve done, and the things that we sometimes do.” said Jannah. “But being human has never been about being perfectly good or perfectly destructive… it’s just about trying our best, learning more about this big universe, caring for each other.” She blinked as another huge strike of lighting lit up the scene. “You may think you know humanity’s worst, but I’m trying to show you humanity’s best!”

“I have seen the best.” said the planet, a little sadly. The rain started to slow. 

Jannah looked up in surprise to see that the figure’s glow had lessened as well.

“She is the fairest human warrior I will ever know.” said the planet. “And still… she wishes to leave me.”

Lin took a great heaving breath, and turned in Jannah’s arms to look back at the figure of the planet. She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I need people again. My people.” She glanced back at Jannah. “I want to be with Jannah.”

The planet drooped, but it was not pitiful. Anger still burned in her form. “So be it.” she spat, and twisted her hand. 

Lin cried out in pain, and Jannah held her tighter. “What are you doing?” Jannah yelled. 

“Shame on you, little mortal, and may your death be soon and miserable!” the planet’s form screamed at Jannah. She cocked her head and looked at Lin, shaking with disgust. “And you… Lin.” She said the name as if she had never said it before. “If I had known this would happen, I would have never let you live. I should have let you die. You’d be a tree now, and you could never leave me.”

Jannah could see Lin changing in her arms, the signs of the planet’s influence fading away. Her hair became smooth again, her skin its normal color. Jannah reached down and rubbed away the dirt and moss that covered Lin’s name badge. Lin had her eyes squeezed shut in clear distress, but Jannah just gently rubbed her arm until it passed. 

Eventually, the rain slowed. Jannah sat, despite the mud, cradling Lin. Eventually, Lin opened her eyes and began to breathe slower. They both looked up at where the figure of the planet had been, but she was gone. Jannah glanced back at the research station, and saw the flames of the fire receding.

“She let you go.” Jannah breathed.

Lin shook her head. “No, I let me go.” she said confidently. “You couldn’t see… but it was not easy.”

“I believe it.” said Jannah. “Are you alright? Can you walk?”

Lin nodded and allowed Jannah to help her to her feet. Seeing Lin in her short, now soaked shirt, Jannah removed Shay’s (thankfully somewhat waterproof) coat, and wrapped it around Lin’s shoulders. The huge green garment was much more suited to Lin’s tall, broad-shouldered frame that it had been to Jannah.

“You’ll be cold.” protested Lin.

Jannah smiled. “I feel warmer than ever.”

Lin looked off in the distance, at the great silvery ship docked beside the station. “I don’t know how I will fit into this world. If the Terran Alliance is gone, it isn’t as if I have a job. I don’t even know if I have a family to go back to.”

Jannah took Lin’s hand as they began their walk towards the station. “I can help you figure that out, you know.” she said. “It’s a fresh start! You can become anything you want.” She looked down. “That is of course… provided you can survive away from the planet.”

Lin turned and looked at Jannah, her eyes sparkling with a new joy that Jannah had never seen before. “Jannah, I don’t care about that.” she began. “What you said earlier was true. I’d rather spend my last moments with you, than an eternity alone here with no one but Her. I was a stranger, barely even human, practically dead… and yet you cared about me. You didn’t listen to my warnings, yes, but that proved you brave enough to defy Hers.”

Jannah grinned at her, her heart full. They didn’t say much else as they continued back to the station. When they got close, Jannah watched Shay run over from near the Administration ship to see them. 

First they gave Jannah an enormous hug. “You’re alive!” they cried. “I hate to admit it but I was really thinking you were going to get totally destroyed by the planet lady.”

Jannah laughed into Shay’s shoulder. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Releasing Jannah, Shay turned to Lin and gave her an enormous hug as well. Lin looked a little flabbergasted, but appreciative. Eventually Shay stepped away. “My coat suits you.” they said, admiring Lin. They grinned at Jannah. “We may be abandoning our unfinished research and telling everyone to stay away from this planet forever, but at least it hasn’t been a total loss.”

Jannah looked puzzled. “I mean…”

“I got your bags packed up,” said Shay, “and you’ve got your girlfriend, so I’d say we’re ready to go!”

Both Jannah and Lin blushed a little. 

“My dad is going to be amazed by all this.” said Jannah, laughing. She swung Lin’s hand a bit as they walked towards the Administration transport ship. 

“Your dad?” said Shay. “Dr. Waterman is going to flip!”

Jannah looked down. “I’m only sorry we couldn’t help Dr. Simons.”

Lin patted her on the shoulder. “You are helping him enough by making sure no one else is ever hurt by the entity here. I’m sure that’s what he would have wanted.”

Shay nodded. “She’s right. Every time we face the unknown, but make smart choices about it, we will honor the memory of Arthur Simons.”

A blur of activity followed for the next two hours as everyone boarded, takeoff sequences were initiated, courses set, and quick explanations attempted. But soon, there was peace at last, as the transport was whisking them to the nearest Administration-run station for mission debriefing and other paperwork. At last, the research team had bid farewell to FC39.

Jannah and Lin sat together by the largest view window on the ship, as the distant stars zipped past. Jannah lay her head on Lin’s lap, listening to her breathing, and the low hum of the transport’s engines. 

“Thank you for giving me a chance at a new beginning.” Lin said gently, stroking Jannah’s hair. 

Jannah smiled. “It’s my beginning too. The start of an adventure, together, and with anyone we meet now and along the way.”

Lin let out a contented sigh, and it felt as if the entire universe was at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This is the first time I've posted any of my work online, and I'm really proud of finishing this. Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
